What Matters Most
by vampiredream83
Summary: Rose leaves the academy after Dimitri breaks her heart. Three years later Rose is found, and just in time. Danger is lurking. Can Rose figure out how to stop it before it's all too late? One disclaimer for all chapters.
1. Change

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Richelle Mead's brilliant series, or her story lines.

CHANGE

Just when you think life becomes steady, and you know exactly where you're heading, you get thrown a curve ball – or ten. Welcome to my life. It all started on one dreamlike night. I slept with Dimitri, the absolute love of my life – my soul mate. It had been magical, it was everything I had ever imagined it could be, and more. He had been so gentle, caring and loving. I had never felt so good before in my life, being with him – as one – was beyond words. After we had finished I sensed strigoi near. The academy was attacked, many students – dhampir and moroi – and teachers, as well as guardians, lost their lives. The strigoi left the academy with several other hostages, and although it wasn't expressed in words, we all knew why. Eddie was one of the ones that had been taken, and the thought of losing him like I had Mason caused my heart to shatter inside my chest. A rescue part was formed, and we got most of them back, Eddie included. In the process we lost some of our rescue party, but it was still considered a success. I got injured pretty bad and ended up in the infirmary for a week, most of that time I spent unconscious. I was told Dimitri had stayed by my side the entire time, Lissa had healed me a little each day, and after eight days I was well enough to leave.

Life went on as normal for a few weeks after that. I had my training sessions with Dimitri each morning and afternoon, and classes all day. Graduation was fast approaching, and I needed to make sure I was ready to complete my final trials. It annoyed me that Dimitri was making sure I was taking it easy. I was healed, you would never have guessed I almost died at the hands of a strigoi, but he just kept telling me he wasn't taking any chances. He limited my training to running, medium weights and the punching bags – but only if I didn't work myself too hard. Unfortunately for me, he wasn't the only one who put me on the lame restrictions. My combat classes were pretty much the same story. No sparring. So basically all I could do was sit and watch everyone else train. It was driving me insane.

It was around four weeks after the attack that I started feeling sick. It generally happened as soon as I woke up in the morning, and passed as soon as my stomach contents were flushed. It didn't really worry me at first, I just put it down to stress finally catching up with me. I still ate the same amount of food, even though I wasn't training nearly as much as I usually did, and I started finding that I couldn't stand the thought of eating certain foods. Doughnuts. I had loved doughnuts for as long as I could remember, I ate them at every chance I got. But I couldn't even stand the thought of having one even remotely close to me. _People's taste change over time, I just grew out of the doughnut phase_, I told myself. Looking back on it, I know I was in denial. I didn't want to think there was even the slightest possibility something might have been wrong with me.

Soon after the sickness and changes in taste started I began getting incredibly moody. At the drop of a hat I could be crying, or yelling, or as happy as I could be. That's when others started noticing something was up with me. I made excuses that I wasn't sleeping properly, I was having nightmares, or anything else that seemed good at the time. They seemed to buy them to some extent, but I saw in their eyes as the days went by that they were starting to question the excuses I gave them.

"Little dhampir," Adrian started one day. "You're not yourself these days, and I'm not the only one who's noticing. You know you can talk to me right?" He asked, caution laced his body language.

"I wouldn't trust you with a mile in between us," I snapped at him. I knew it was a little over kill, but I just couldn't help it.

"This is what I'm talking about Rose. One minute you're happy, and the next you're snapping at anyone who walks past you. You're starting to give us all whiplash," he said as a smirk played on his lips.

"Butt out Adrian, there's nothing going on, so just leave me the hell alone."

I stormed away from him, but I knew he was right. There was something up with me, I just had no idea what it was. It was extremely rare for a dhampir to get sick, we got a super immune system from the moroi. But when we did get sick, it was so bad – like the disease Victor Dashkov had – there was rarely a cure for our diseases and illnesses.

The morning after my altercation with Adrian I went to the infirmary. I didn't want to be sick, but I knew I needed to face the music, I needed to know what was happening to me. What Dr Olendzki gave me was something I could never have expected. I had told her the symptoms that I was experiencing, she looked at me funny. She knew me – I had frequented the infirmary many times while I had been at the academy – but the way she looked at me then, it was as if she was looking at someone she had never met before. That look sent chills down my spine.

"You need to take this test," she said as she handed me a thin white stick. The look on my face must have been question enough because she continued. "What you have described to me Rose, well they are the classic signs of pregnancy."

I took the test off her and made my way to the bathroom. I'm not entirely sure how I got there, I could barely register that I had a brain, so my feet must have been moving on their own accord. I followed the instructions that came with the test and waited the three minutes in the bathroom stall. It was the longest three minutes of my life. When I finally looked at the test again, all that stared back at me was two perfectly straight pink lines in the result window. I was pregnant.

It was rare for a dhampir to get sick, but it was impossible for a dhampir to fall pregnant to another dhampir. And when I say impossible, I mean biologically it couldn't happen. There was something in our make-up that prevented it from occurring. And yet I was pregnant, and the only person I had ever had sex with was Dimitri, and he sure as hell was a dhampir. I sat down on the toilet lid, put my head between my knees and tried to steady my breathing. I was pregnant. I was having a baby. I was going to be a mum. I wasn't even eighteen.

After a while Dr Olendzki knocked on the bathroom door and asked if I was okay. Without a word I opened the door slowly and handed the test to her. She looked at it, and then back at me. Her face showed no judgement, just sympathy. She led me back to her office and sat me down in the chair I had occupied just before. She sat on the other side of her desk, seeming lost in thought.

"Do you know who the father is?" She asked gently.

"Yes." It was all I could manage to say.

"Are you considering an abortion?" She asked with caution.

I hadn't for a second considered killing the life slowly growing inside of me. I knew the baby was a miracle, he or she wasn't meant to be. I shouldn't have been pregnant to another dhampir. Could I really kill the life that already meant so much to me?

"No…not at all, I'm having this baby," I said honestly, conviction was strong in my voice.

"Okay," she said, seeming slightly pleased with my answer. "From the information you've given me, I would estimate that you are around six weeks along. And considering you almost died, I'm not sure what damage might have been done to the baby. However, in saying that, you haven't miscarried, so that would indicate that the baby wasn't affected nearly as bad as you were," she paused for a moment, it looked like she was considering something before speaking again. "Your final trials are to be held in, four months, is that right?"

I simply nodded. I knew where she was going with this line of conversation. I would have been five and a half months pregnant by the time the finals came around. Obviously too pregnant to complete them, I wouldn't pass, I wouldn't become a guardian. I hadn't given this any thought when I instantly dismissed the abortion solution, and yet it still wasn't an option. I knew my baby had to come first.

"You would be too far along to complete the trials," she said, confirming what I already knew. "I could try to organise something for you though. I could speak with Guardian Petrov, maybe we could bring your trials forward by two or three months, that way you could still graduate. From what I've heard about your accomplishments you are more than ready to complete them. Still, we would need to ensure that none of the guardian's would make any impact with your abdominal area…"

"I think, I just need some time to process all of this," I interrupted, my voice slightly shaking.

"Okay, I will need to give you some vitamins which will help ensure the health of your baby," she said as she stood from her chair and walked towards a filing cabinet. She riffled through one of the draws before pulling out a brightly coloured pill bottle. "Take one a day, with some food," she instructed as she handed them to me. "They are based on the human formula, but they are a strength that is better for us. Now I will need you to come back soon so we can discuss your diet and some other things you will need to know for your pregnancy. Oh and we will need to schedule an ultrasound so we can see how the baby is developing."

"Thank you," I said quietly as I stood from my chair and walked towards the door.

I slowly walked back to my dorm room, I knew I should have headed for class, but I just couldn't find the strength to go in any other direction. I got back to my room, locked the door behind me and collapsed onto my bed. My head was spinning with everything I had just found out. Tears slowly began to leak from my eyes, I had no idea what I was doing. I knew that it was stupid of me to want to keep the baby, but I also knew I couldn't kill him or her. I wondered if I could still be a guardian while pregnant, or even after I had the baby. I wondered how Dimitri would react to the news, would he be happy? I wondered how it would affect his career as a guardian.

After much debate, I decided I needed to tell him, he needed to know he was going to be a father. I knew he had always wanted a family of his own, and I was going to give that to him, I wanted it to make him happy. I prayed it would make him happy. I decided that after I told him I would let everyone else know. And after that I would see Roberta myself to see if anything could be arranged so that I would still be able to graduate.

I pulled myself from the bed and made my way to the bathroom. My eyes were red and slightly puffed, crying had been a good release, but it made me look like hell. I splashed water on my face and quickly changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top once I was back in my room. It was time for my afternoon training session with Dimitri. I had missed my morning session, and I was sure he was going to be pissed about that. I saw in my head how it was all going to play out. He'd yell at me for missing the session, I would tell him why, then he would wrap his arms around me and all would be good.

When I got to the gym I saw I had been right about him being pissed. He stood against the wall across from the door, his arms were crossed. He had his head resting back against the wall, his eyes staring at the ceiling, it was as though there was something absolutely captivating up there, but I couldn't see it.

"Hey, Comrade, I'm sorry I missed training this morning…" I started, but was cut off by his intense, and very angry glare.

"This is not the time to be slacking off Rose," he said, I flinched at the use of my name. Normally he called me Roza. I could tell he was straining not to yell at me.

"I had to go to the infirmary," I said quickly before he could continue. "I haven't been feeling well the past couple of weeks, so I went to get it checked out. So I'm sorry I missed the session, but I promise you I'm slacking off."

"Are you okay?" He asked, concern laced his voice instead of the previous anger.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little surprised is all," I said feeling a slight blush creep along my cheeks.

"Are you sick, or is it just stress?" He asked, still probing me to make sure I was okay.

"Neither," I said softly. "I'm pregnant Dimitri." I all but blurted it out.

His glare was as cold as ice in a blizzard. I had been made aware of my mood swings, and in that moment I wondered if they were contagious. Dimitri had gone from angry to concerned, and following close behind that was this – I wasn't even sure what _this_ was. He made sure his guardian mask was firmly in place, preventing me from seeing any sort of emotion. Though if I had to guess I would have gone with disgust, possibly disbelief. I was confused. He should have been happy, I was carrying his baby. The one thing I knew he wanted. But instead his glared cut through me like frozen razor blades.

"What?" I croaked out.

"How could you do this?" He asked quietly, his head flopped forward, breaking his fierce glare.

"How could I do what?" I asked, even more confused than I was before

"I opened up to you, I told you, I showed you how much I love you. And you go and sleep with someone else," he yelled, the tone of his voice broke my heart, it held so much pain.

"But I didn't…" I started, but he cut me off again.

"I don't want to hear it," he yelled. "I thought you were better, but now I see I was wrong. You're nothing but a slut Rosemarie."

I staggered backwards from the force of his words, it felt like I'd been punched in the gut, and hard. He didn't believe that it was his baby. He wouldn't let me explain anything to him. That hurt me, but not more than him calling me a slut. I turned and ran out of the gym without another word. Tears streamed down my face as I ran past the other students, they just stared as I bolted past them. I felt a surge of emotions hit me through the bond. Lissa had seen me, but I didn't stop until I got back to my room. I quickly locked the door and sunk to the floor. Thoughts pounded inside my head, it took me a moment to realise it wasn't just my thoughts, someone was bashing on my door.

"Rose, open up now!" Lissa yelled through the door. "I know you're in there Rose. Please just open the door," she pleaded.

I ignored her. I couldn't see her, I couldn't see anyone. My heart was shattered, I was broken. Most of my heart had been left behind me in the gym as I fled. He didn't believe me. He actually thought I would sleep with someone else straight after him? I couldn't even begin to comprehend that. After a while I heard Lissa's footsteps melt away down the hall. I dragged myself up from the floor and went to my desk. I pulled out a piece of paper and started writing.


	2. Goodbye

GOODBYE

_Dear Lissa_

_I'm so sorry, I never wanted to leave you, but I never expected this could happen. Today I found out that I'm pregnant. Dr Olendzki told me she would try to find a way for me to graduate, but with a baby on the way, I don't see much point. I couldn't be the guardian I need to be while running after a baby anyway._

_I tried to tell the father today, but he wouldn't listen to a word I tried to say. His words broke my heart. Maybe things would have been different if he'd believed me, but the cards have been dealt, and I must play my hand. Even if I did stay, they'd never let me be your guardian now._

_Please don't hate me, though I'll understand if you do. You are strong, I know you will fight for what's right in our world, and without my reputation hanging over you, you will have a much better chance of changing what needs to be. I love you Liss, and I hate that I have to do this, but I promise I will always be with you._

_Rose_

I carefully folded the letter and sealed it in an envelope before scribbling Lissa's name on it. A lone tear rolled down my cheek, signalling the pain I felt deep inside. _I have to do this_, I kept telling myself. It was right for Lissa, it was right for Dimitri, and it was right for my baby. Whether it was right for me I didn't know, but that didn't matter. I had absolutely no idea where I was going, I didn't have a clue how I would get anywhere, I had no money to my name. There was only one person I could think about asking, but I really wasn't sure if he would help. I had never been too kind to him.

I made my way to the wardrobe. I didn't have many clothes, but I packed what I had. I packed my fake ID and passport, along with a photo of Lissa and I – it had been taken when we were on the run from the academy. I was leaving her – and that hurt like hell – but I needed something of her with me, other than the bond.

I picked up my bag and took a final look around my room. I hadn't left, but my room already looked cold and not lived in. Maybe it was just the way I was feeling that made the room seem like that. I left the letter on the desk and closed the door behind me. I left it unlocked, there was nothing worth taking in there anymore – my measly amount of belongings had been stuffed into my bag.

It was just after curfew as I made my way to Adrian's room. I made sure to dodge the guardians who were patrolling, I stayed within the shadows of the trees and buildings where possible – the sun was still low in the sky, so shadows were of a bare minimum. I finally made it to the building where Adrian was staying. It was the accommodation where the moroi parents would stay when they were visiting their children. Since it wasn't a student dorm they didn't feel it was necessary to have anyone on duty in there, and that made it significantly easier for me to get inside. I made my way up the stairs and stopped at the door I knew would have Adrian behind it. I knocked loudly three times.

Through the door I heard the clang of bottles and someone stumbling heavily towards the door. I sighed at the thought of Adrian being drunk, I wasn't sure if that would work in my favour or not. I waited patiently – well as patiently as I could manage – for Adrian to open the door lazily, he wasn't drunk, but it looked like he'd only just woken up. A smile lit up on his face when he saw me standing on the opposite side of the threshold. He was exceptionally good looking when he smiled, and even though I didn't remotely have romantic feelings for him, I had to admit he was hot. I watched as his eyes swept down my body, and I saw as soon as they fell on the bag in my hand, his smile faltered before fading completely.

Without a word Adrian opened the door wider, a gesture allowing me to enter his room. It was a lot different to my room, a hell of a lot nicer too. I walked into what looked to be the lounge room. There was a large three seater couch with two matching arm chairs off to each side. Separating the couch and a large plasma TV hanging against the wall was a wooden coffee table, it was home to four empty vodka bottles. Off to the left there were two closed doors, I guessed they led to the bathroom and bedroom. The colour scheme was light, yet warm. The couch set was white, the plush carpet was cream, but the walls were tan. I sank into the couch, I had never sat on anything that felt like a cloud, it was so soft, yet it offered immense support. Adrian pushed the bottles aside – causing two of them to fall on the floor – and sat on the coffee table across from me. The look on his face was almost morbid.

"I'm guessing you're not here for a chat, or anything else that might be nice," he said with a weak wink.

"No, I wish I was though…for the chat I mean," I said quickly picking up on my almost slip up before it was too late. Adrian was interested in me – he hadn't made it a secret – but I just couldn't return those feelings. "I'm sorry about the other day, when I snapped at you."

"It's okay little dhampir," he said with a small smile. "So what do you need?"

"Well, as you can probably tell by the bag, I'm leaving the academy…" I started.

"Why?" He asked before I could continue with what I was saying.

I didn't answer for a bit, I was considering lying to him. I wasn't sure I could tell anyone else about the pregnancy – not after the reaction Dimitri had given me. But I wanted Adrian to help me, so I felt I shouldn't lie. Then there was the fact that I had told Lissa in the letter, so the chances that he would find out anyway were too high to risk not telling him the truth. I took a long, deep breath before answering.

"I found out that I'm pregnant," I said softly, my focus was solely on my hands. I braced myself for his response.

"Oh…wow…I don't quite know what to say to that," he said, I could see the shock radiating off him.

"There's not much to say. I opened my legs, I got pregnant, and the father thinks I'm a blood whore." I could feel tears starting to sting my eyes. I tried to push them back, the last thing I wanted to do was break down in front of Adrian, but I failed miserably.

"Oh Rose, you are not a blood whore, you know that as well as I do. Just because _he_ thinks you are doesn't mean it's true. And it doesn't mean you have to leave. You have Lissa and I, you know we'll be by your side the whole time." The way Adrian said '_he_' made it clear he knew who the baby's father was.

"I can't stay Adrian," I pleaded for him to understand. "I'm about six weeks along, which means I will be way too pregnant by the time the final trials come around. Plus there's the fact that I can't be the guardian I need to be while running around after a child. I have always said if I had a baby I would never do what my mother did. I can't just dump him or her at an academy at the youngest possible age and then never see them again cause I'm too busy."

"So your mind is made up then?" He asked sadly.

"I have to leave Adrian."

"Okay, so I'll ask again, what do you need?"

"Money," I said sheepishly. I hated the fact that I needed to ask him, especially when I hadn't been that nice to him since we met.

Without a word Adrian stood up from the coffee table and moved to the other side of the room, he disappeared through one of the doors. A few minutes later he reappeared with a small black back pack in his hand. Again he didn't say a word, he simply moved back to the coffee table and sat back down. His eyes remained on the floor, they only slipped up to meet mine when he spoke.

"There's several thousand in here, it should get you started somewhere," he told me as he handed over the bag.

"I don't think I could ever thank you enough for this Adrian," I told him as I took his hand in mine. "Maybe one day I can pay you back." I knew it was wishful thinking.

"No need little dhampir. I will give you anything you need," he said as he gently squeezed my hand. "Do you know where you'll go?"

"At the moment, I have no idea. But I'll find somewhere, I went on the run with Lissa remember." I tried to smile and put my usual Rose Hathaway bravado into it, but even I knew I didn't succeed with that.

"And how are you getting away from the academy? You know since the attack they have more guardian's patrolling the grounds," he questioned.

As much as I hated to admit it, he had me there. They had doubled the patrols since the attack happened, even during the moroi night. That would have made it a whole lot harder to get away, even if I took off out the back. Then there was the fact that the academy was in the mountains. I would have been able to make the hike, but I would have run the risk of them sending guardians after me and dragging me back – again. The only reason Lissa and I had escaped before was because she had used compulsion, but I was lacking that. I sighed in defeat. I was going to be stuck at the academy, seeing the love of my life – who thought of me as a slut – every day. The only hope I had left was that they would kick me out.

"Guess I'm stuck here," I said as depression washed over me.

"If you're that determined to go, I will help you get out," he said, I could almost see the depression washing over him too.

"It's not so much determination, it's the fact that I can't stay here, not when he thinks so low of me, and you know he won't be the only one thinking that way. When I tried to tell him today, he wouldn't even listen to me. He called me a…" I broke down as Dimitri's words echoes in my head, tears streamed down my face. "I have to leave Adrian, if I have any chance of making it through this, I need to leave."

"Shhh little dhampir," he soothed as he moved onto the couch next to me and pulled me into his arms. "It's his loss, he's the stupid one here. He doesn't know what he's missing." He ran his fingers through my hair. "What are you telling Lissa?"

"I left her a letter in my room. I can't see her before I go. I know it's selfish, but she will force me into staying. If I stay I won't be able to be her guardian anyway. It's better this way," I said softly in between sobs as I nestled my head into his neck.

"Okay, then lets go," he said, taking me by surprise. "It's well after curfew, so there will be less chance that you'll be seen."

"But what if they do see me?" I asked slightly worried.

"I'll use compulsion," he said with distain in his voice, it was all but illegal to use compulsion on any dhampir or moroi, but he was doing it for me.

I simply nodded my head and pulled myself off of the couch. I tried to gather my bags but Adrian took them off me and we headed out the door. Quietly we slipped out the back door of the building, my eyes were darting in every direction, searching for anyone who might see us. Adrian ran into one guardian, but luckily I was out of view when he walked up to him. I stayed where I was while he spoke to Adrian. Adrian told him he'd decided to go shopping for the day which is why he was out so late. He got away with it for the simple fact that he wasn't a student. The guardian soon went on his way and we continued on ours to the car park. Adrian walked up to his car and opened the back. I was about to get in, but he just laughed and gently pushed me to the side.

"I'll compel them to forget they saw you little dhampir. I'm not about to let a pregnant woman ride in the trunk," he said with a slight laugh.

"Oh," I said as I tried to hide my embarrassment, I felt the warmth spread across my cheeks.

He put my bags in the trunk and we got settled into the car. He did as he said he would, he compelled the guardians at the front gate to forget they saw me, and he spilled the same story about going shopping in Missoula. Once we got out of the front gates I could finally settle down. I loved his car. It was a brand new black Hummer H2, luxury of course, the heavily tinted windows were hard to see out of even with my improved vision. The comfort level was beyond imagination. This was the sort of car I dreamed of owning, and I was sure that's where it would stay.

We drove the whole way to Missoula in silence. I wasn't in the mood for small talk, and I don't think Adrian knew what to say. We held hands the entire way though. It wasn't anything romantic, it was comforting, for us both. Just knowing each other were there was nice, even if it wasn't going to last. I was quite surprised to find that we didn't head for the airport when we made it to Missoula. The airport signs pointed in once direction, Adrian went the other way. I was about to say something but he beat me to it.

"I need to know that you're going to be able to support yourself and the baby Rose. So we're going to the bank to set up an account for you." I was about to object, but he continued. "Rose, you aren't going to be able to work for at least eight months, and you will need to buy the essentials for the little one. Not to mention you'll need rent and food and clothes, and everything like that. So little dhampir, I won't take no for an answer," he told me, I heard the determination in his voice.

I didn't fight him on it, I couldn't, he was right. I had absolutely no idea how much it was going to cost to get set up for the baby. I didn't want to accept any more money than he had already given me, but I had no other option, I just really hoped I could somehow repay him some day. It took us around ten minutes to reach the bank, luckily Adrian know where he was going. Although it was a predominantly moroi and dhampir bank, it operated on human hours, so it was open when we arrived. I was about to get out of the car but Adrian asked me to stay put, he reminded me that I needed to stay low so people didn't see me. I agreed and he ran off into the bank.

It was a while before Adrian came back, and I was getting anxious. The longer he took, the higher the risk was of the academy realising I was gone. I wanted to be as far away as possible when the alarm was raised – if the alarm was raised, maybe i'd get lucky and no one would care. Adrian came back with a hand full of papers. He jumped into the car and handed them to me, I shuffled through them, trying to figure out what the hell they meant, but I couldn't make much sense out of them. One page had a shiny new Visa card attached to it.

"I set up an account that is linked to mine, that way I can easily transfer money when needed," he explained to me. "You have your own card to use whenever required. It's a credit card so you can order online if you need to. And you have my word that I won't use it to track where you are. On one condition that is." He paused waiting for my response.

I nodded my head slowly, a little worried about what his condition would be.

"You need to keep in contact with me, you don't need to tell me where you are or anything like that, just an e-mail or a call once in a while, anything so I know that you're going okay," he told me with a slight smile.

"I planned on that anyway," I told him as I softly elbowed him in the arm.

Adrian's smile widened as he started the car and pulled away from the bank. It was at that moment I realised I had really misjudged him. I had always thought of him as an alcoholic womanising royal who believed he could get anything – and anyone – he wanted. But when it really came down to it, he really did care. He didn't have to help me, but he had put himself in the line of fire to help me escape, he had openly given me thousands of dollars, and he didn't even agree with my decision.

Within half an hour we arrived at the airport. Traffic had been busy, so there was a lot of stopping along the way. He pulled into the drop off bay and we both got out of the car. Adrian got my bags out of the back and placed them on the ground. He looked at me with so much sadness in his eyes. The pain on his face made me feel like I was dying inside. I was so sick of hurting the people in my life, they deserved so much better.

"I'm really going to miss you little dhampir," he told me as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm going to miss you too Adrian. You can visit me though," I told him, referring to my dreams.

"You can count on that," he told me sadly.

"Please don't tell Lissa anything though," I pleaded. "Not that she'll probably want to know anything after reading that letter," I said softly as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Just take care of yourself Rose, and this beautiful little baby growing in here," he told me sternly as he placed a hand on my stomach.

"I will." I pulled away from him.

"Will I see you again?" There was so much hope held in his voice.

"I don't know Adrian. I really don't," I admitted. "I wish I could say yes, but I don't want to lie to you." More tears streamed down from my eyes.

Adrian tried to wipe the tears away, but they were coming too fast. He pulled me into another tight hug soothing me with whispers as he ran his fingers through my hair. I had always hated saying goodbye.

"I have to get going Adrian." I hated to say it, but I really did have to go, I was on the verge of telling him to take me back to the academy. Weakness wasn't my style, I had broken down enough in front of him for one day. I needed to stay with my decision, I couldn't allow myself to give in.

I pulled out of the hug and picked up my bags. I couldn't say anything else, I just walked away with tears streaking my face. I couldn't bring myself to look at him again, it was already breaking my heart more than I thought it could have. I walked into the airport and looked at the departures screen. I didn't know where I was going to go. I had no idea where any dhampir communes were. I stood there staring at the screen for a while, just thinking. Suddenly it hit me. Dimitri had talked about his family in Baia. He said it was a community largely populated by single dhampir mothers. Sure I was probably crazy going to a country where I didn't speak the language, but no one would think to look for me there, and I was sure I could learn.

I walked up to the counter to find a pretty human woman waiting for her next customer, my guess was that she was around thirty years old. She had long blond hair that was pulled back into a loose ponytail, her eyes were a deep dark blue. Her smile was warm as I approached the counter.

"How can I help you?" She asked kindly.

"I need to buy a ticket…to Novosibirsk…one way," I told her, stuttering through my thoughts.

"Okay," she said as she started typing. Her fingers moved like a cheetah chasing after its prey. "We have a flight leaving in an hour, but it has two connects," she told me while still looking at her screen.

"That's fine."

"Do you have a passport?" She asked, briefly looking at me.

I rifled through my bag searching for what she needed to finish processing my ticket. I knew I had packed it, it was just a matter of finding the small book amoungst my clothes. I finally handed it to her with a small smile. When I had got the documents I had made sure I used a different name on them, my name for travelling purposes would be Levanna Jones she was nineteen years old. The woman continued typing quickly as I waited somewhat patiently.

"Do you want to check your bags?" She asked, I shook my head in reply.

She continued typing and clicking for another couple of minutes. I started getting more and more impatient as the seconds ticked by, my foot tapped involuntarily as I waited.

"That will be three thousand one hundred and twenty two dollars," she said with a smile. "How would you like to pay for that?"

I thought for a moment about using the card Adrian had given me, but decided against it. If anyone found out he had helped me they would be able to find my location through the transaction history.

"Cash," I told her as I opened the small back pack Adrian had given me and took out two large wads of cash.

The woman slowly counted out the money she needed and handed back what she didn't. She typed a little more and then hit the enter key. I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief when I heard the printer kick in.

"Okay, Miss Jones, here's your ticket," she said as she handed it to me. "You're gate number is on the ticket, in the top right corner. You will be required to check in at each of your stop overs," she informed me.

I nodded my thanks to her before quickly leaving the counter. I got through security without a problem – though I didn't have a stake or any weapons with me – and rushed to find my gate number so that I didn't miss my flight. My flight was finally called, I boarded the plane saying a silent final goodbye to Missoula and everyone I loved.


	3. Long Journey

LONG JOURNEY

As the woman had told me, my journey did have two stop overs. The first was in Seattle, but I only stayed there for just over an hour. It had been a rush to get off the plane, down to check in for my next flight and then back up to the international gate where my next flight was leaving from. Thankfully I was fit, because I did all of that and still had time to get food. On the short flight from Missoula to Seattle they had only served muffins and juice – the muffin had made me feel sick just from looking at it. I relaxed when my second flight was finally called, and thankfully it was right on time too. I looked at the time as I walked behind a small crowd towards the gate, I still had a couple of hours until the academy would be waking up, I would have been well on my way to being out of the country – heading to Paris – before that happened.

I settled into my seat, which was next to the window. A middle aged woman took the seat next to me. I could tell she would have been very attractive when she was younger, but from the lines on her face, it was obvious that she'd led a stressful life. Her hair was auburn and wavy, it hung just past her shoulders, her eyes were hidden behind a pair of chunky sunglasses. She smiled slightly at me before she pulled out a book and focused all her attention on that. From the cover I saw it was some soppy vampire novel, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. _If only she knew_, I chuckled internally.

A few hours into the flight food was brought around. I had the roast beef with roast vegetables and gravy. Sure the cook wasn't going to win any awards for the meal, but it was edible. It was after I had finished eating that I was pulled into Lissa's head. She stood at my door, knocking as loud as her knuckles would allow. She was worried about me, I hadn't answered the door the day before after she had seen me crying, I hadn't been at dinner or breakfast, and she knew I hadn't turned up to training.

"And you say you didn't have a fight?" She questioned him again, her voice and patients were wearing thin.

"No, Princess," he lied, though I guessed maybe it wasn't considered a fight to him. He called me a slut and wouldn't let me explain my side. Why Dimitri would be at my door with Lissa confused me immensely.

I searched through Lissa's head, trying to find the reason behind him being there with her. I could understand why Lissa was there – she was my friend – but Dimitri had made it clear what he thought about me, so he had no reason to be there. After a little searching I found what I was looking for. Lissa had been on her way to my room, she hadn't seen me at breakfast, and that made her worry more than she already was. On her way she had run into Dimitri, he had also been looking for me since I hadn't showed up to practice. They walked together to my room, but I hadn't answered – and I wasn't going to.

Lissa tried the door handle, she had figured it would be locked, but when it opened she let out a gasp. She hurried into the room, Dimitri was right behind her. The first thing she did was open the wardrobe, it of course was empty. I felt a tear roll down Lissa's face as she began to realise I was gone. She looked around the room to see most of the photos were still there, all except one. Her eyes fell on Dimitri who was standing by the desk, the envelope was in his hand. His back was turned to her so I couldn't see the look on his face, but his shoulders had rolled forward slightly, and a slight shudder – which most people would have missed – cursed through his body.

"She left you a letter Princess," he said. He turned around slowly, his guardian mask was firmly in place, but I could see the pain that was present in his eyes.

Lissa took the envelope and ripped it open. Her eyes quickly registered the words I had written to her. She didn't believe it though, not until the she had read the letter multiple times. She slowly walked across to the bed and sat down, her head rested in her palms as the letter fell to the floor.

"She's gone," she cried out. "She's pregnant and gone!"

"What else does the letter day Princess? Is there anything that might help us find her?" He asked, nervousness was in his voice. I guessed he was hoping I hadn't named him in the letter.

"She told the father of the baby, she said his words broke her heart. She said she might not have left if he'd taken the news better." Tears slid down her delicate cheeks. "She left me, how could she do this to me?"

"I'm sure she thought she was going the right thing Princess. You know how Rose can be, if she thinks it's right, then nothing will stop her," Dimitri said, he was still standing on the opposite side of the room.

Lissa suddenly stood from the bed, collected the letter from the floor and headed towards the door. "I need to see Guardian Petrov, she will need to organise guardian's to find Rose," she said as she walked out of my old room.

I heard the door of my room close behind Lissa, and without a word Dimitri fell into step beside her. Lissa moved with a speed that I had never seen her use before. I felt determination pulsating through her with every step she took. She was going to find me and bring me back to where she knew I belonged. She didn't like the thought of me being out on my own, she knew the dangers that lurked outside the academy, and with me being pregnant, she knew I couldn't protect myself or the baby.

She made it to the administration building in record time – for her anyway. She walked straight past the reception desk, the moroi woman who was sitting behind the desk called out for her to stop, but Lissa just ignored her. She quickly went up the stairs and straight to Roberta's office, she didn't even pause to knock, she barged straight in with Dimitri right on her heels.

"Princess, is everything okay?" Roberta asked once the shock of Lissa's intrusion had worn off.

"No it's not Guardian Petrov, Rose is gone," she said, her voice shook slightly as she fought to keep hold of the tears that threatened to once again escape.

"What do you mean she's gone?" Roberta asked incredulously.

"She didn't show up at training with Guardian Belikov this morning, she wasn't at breakfast, and when we entered her room we found her clothes gone and this letter on her desk," Lissa said as she pushed the letter across the desk towards Roberta.

Roberta took a moment to read, and reread, the letter in her hands. Her facial expression went from curious to dread within seconds. "She's pregnant?" She asked as if she thought it was all a joke.

"Yes, apparently she found out yesterday and tried to tell the father of the baby, but he was an asshole," Lissa said, anger was building inside of her, directed towards the guy who had hurt me. "We need to find her. It isn't safe out there, and Rose won't be able to protect herself if she was to run into any strigoi." Her voice was fierce, I had never seen her like this before nor had I ever heard her swear.

"I agree, she should be found. But since the attack Princess, there isn't enough guardians to perform such a duty. As it is the guardians we do have are working double shifts just to ensure the safety of the academy," Roberta said, hesitation ripe in her tone.

"With all due respect Guardian Petrov, Rose isn't yet eighteen, which means she's still under the protection of this academy. You have a duty to find her." Lissa wasn't going to take no for an answer, the temptation of using compulsion was growing every second.

"Do you have any ideas of who the father might be?" Roberta asked, her expression still showing the dread she must have felt.

"No, do you Guardian Belikov?" Lissa asked as she turned to face him. It wasn't so much a question as it was an accusation.

"I think I might, but I would prefer to discuss this with Guardian Petrov in private," he stated, his guardian mask slipped for a split second showing guilt plastered on his face.

Lissa let out a frustrated sigh and sat heavily in the seat across from Roberta. She felt as though all of her energy had just raced out of her body, leaving her feeling weak and scared. She hated that I had just left, without even saying goodbye to her, but none of that mattered at that point, all that mattered was that she found me safe and well.

"A couple of guardians mentioned that Lord Ivashkov left the academy to go shopping in Missoula last night. Though none of them mentioned that he had any company with him." Roberta seemed to ponder on a thought before continuing. "With the amount of guardian we have patrolling the grounds at present, I can't see how she would have been able to leave, and even then, it would be a long walk, especially over the mountains."

"Adrian is a spirit user Guardian Petrov," Lissa said as though it was the most obvious of explanations.

"I know that Princess, but how has that got anything to do with the situation at hand?"

"Spirit users have much stronger compulsion than any other moroi," she explained. "Adrian left the academy the same day that Rose leaves, I don't think it's a coincidence. Just because the guardians said he was on his own, it doesn't mean he was."

I really hated how smart Lissa was at times. She had already figured out how I managed to get away from the academy. It was only a matter of time before she was bashing on Adrian's door, demanding answers that I prayed he wouldn't give. At least she couldn't use compulsion on him, though knowing Lissa she would still try if it meant there was a chance she would get me back. The possibilities of who could have been the baby's father played over and over in her head. Adrian was her main choice, but for a reason she couldn't explain she kept going back to Dimitri, she had noticed we were close, but she didn't take much notice of it. And no matter how much she tried to reason with herself that Dimitri couldn't possibly be the father of my child, his name just kept popping up.

"I see," Roberta said, deep in concentration. "If that's the case, she could be anywhere by now."

I pulled myself out of Lissa's head, I had seen enough to know Adrian was about to get his arse kicked big time, and it was entirely my fault. I had asked him for help, and he hadn't been able to say no to me. I rested my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. I was out of the country, going to a place I knew they would never find me. I was safe, well as safe as I would ever be. Lissa was right, I wouldn't be able to defend myself against strigoi, I didn't even have a stake I could use if it was needed. I couldn't let myself dwell on it though, I had other pressing issues that needed my attention, like making a new life plan for myself – since being a guardian wasn't on the cards anymore, I needed something else that would help support my baby and I.

Dimitri kept playing on my mind as I sat in my seat, feeling more alone than ever. Had I dreamed his reaction in the gym? Or was I mistaken by the look of guilt on his face and the pain in his eyes? Had it finally clicked that I was pregnant with his child? Question after question flooding through my head, but no answers graced me with their presence. I felt like I was going crazy, but then again Dimitri had always made me do crazy things, he had a control over me that I couldn't even begin to explain. Every time I saw him I almost melted, every time I heard him speak – whether it was to me or someone else – my heart skipped a beat, and every time he touched me… I stopped there, I couldn't let myself continue. _He made it clear how he felt_, I scolded myself.

I was exhausted, to say the least. It had been a big day for me, I hadn't slept at all since I found out I was pregnant. I tried to relax myself, I took measured deep breaths and told myself that everything would be okay. I placed a hand on my stomach and imagined the life growing inside of me. The life created by a miracle, the only thing I had left of Dimitri. And as I became relaxed I slowly slipped into the world of dreams – and nightmares.

After a while of being in the peaceful nothingness of sleep I found myself on a beach. The sun was shining brightly, the water was glistening, and the sand felt warm beneath my feet. I listened as the waves gently crashed upon the shore. It reminded me of when Lissa and I had run away from the academy. We didn't go to the beach much since Lissa couldn't be in the sun for too long, but the times we did go it was like magic to me. The whole world seemed to stop as I stared out towards the horizon.

"Little dhampir," Adrian called out from behind me. "I already miss you."

"It's only been a few hours Adrian," I said as I turned to face him. "And you might want to get ready, you're about to get your ass kicked."

"What do you mean?" He asked slightly confused.

"Lissa has been to see Roberta. She knows you left for a shopping trip, and she also knows it's unlikely you went alone, since it was the same day that I left and all. She obviously knows you're strong in using compulsion too. So I think you should expect a visit from them real soon," I explained, I felt guilty for having put him in the situation.

"Oh, okay." It was all he said, his eyes focused on the sand.

"I'm so sorry Adrian, I never wanted you to get in trouble because of me," I said, my voice pleaded for him to understand. "Tell them whatever you need to, I don't mind."

"I'll handle it little dhampir," he said with a small smile. "So tell me, are you still in the U.S?"

"No, I haven't been for a few hours now," I told him honestly. "It's a long flight, and I still have one stop over before I get to my destination country."

"Which is where?" He asked, a bigger smile played at his lips.

"You know the answer to that," I couldn't help the laugh that escaped from my lips.

"Can't blame a guy for trying," he said as he pulled me into his arms. My head rested comfortably on his chest and I listened contently to his strong, steady heartbeat. "Are you okay Rose?" I knew it was a serious question, he only called me Rose when he was serious.

"For now. I'm just scared, you know. Lissa made a good point, I won't be able to defend myself if I need to. I don't even have a stake," I told him sadly. "I don't even have a place to live."

"You're strong Rose, you're pretty much the strongest person I've ever met," he told me as he ran his hand over my hair. "And you know I will get you anything that you need."

"You've already done so much, I'm kinda on my own now. Plus I have to be strong for my baby, he or she needs a strong mum." Tears glistened in my eyes.

"Your baby is lucky to have you little dhampir," he whispered softly. "So who should I be expecting to bash down my door?"

The dream started to fade, I looked at him with panic in my eyes, I wasn't ready for him to go.

"It's okay little dhampir, someone's knocking on my door," he said before kissing me softly on my forehead. "I will see you again soon, I promise."

My eyes flew open as the dream disappeared. I wanted nothing more than to go back to that beautiful beach, I had felt safe there. I wondered who had been knocking on his door, but I figured I already knew the answer to that. Adrian was going to face the wrath of a very pissed off Lissa, not to mention Roberta – they could both be very scary when angry. I could feel Lissa's emotions swirling around inside of me, and boy was she pissed. I decided it was time to put up my mental wall completely – I had it up enough to block the headaches I got when flying – so she couldn't pull me into her head again. I had other things I needed to concentrate on, things that didn't include her will to find me. I had to concentrate on my baby now.

"Everything is going to be okay," I barely whispered as I rubbed my not yet swollen baby belly. "I'll take care of you, no matter what."

Silently I hoped and prayed that it would be all okay.


	4. Miracles

A/N: Sorry about the stuff up I made with Alberta's name, for some reason I had Roberta on the brain throughout the entire story... I will fix it as soon as I work out how. Thank you for all of the reviews, I really appreciate them.

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><p>MIRACLES<p>

My eyes fluttered sleepily as I slowly woke up. Sleep deprivation had been a huge part of my life for two and a half years. I had never been an early riser, and the only reason I even saw that time of morning – before the sun even peeked above the horizon – was because I had no choice. I pulled myself from the warmth and comfort of my bed and sat on the edge, I'd had a restless night, filled with dreams. No they were nightmares. To some people, they might have been considered dreams, but to me they were worse than dreaming about strigoi attacks. Every night for a little over three years I had dreamt of him. The only person I would ever love. I would dream, in detail, of the night we had given into our feelings and slept together, then it would abruptly change to Dimitri chanting slut at me over and over. It was gut wrenching having to experience it every night. But life's a bitch that way, or at least it was to me. I knew getting through the day wasn't going to be easy considering how little sleep I'd had.

The sound of a small voice calling out to me woke me from my sleepy haze. There was no time for the self-pity I was feeling, I had responsibilities that took priority over my unwanted feelings. I quickly grabbed my robe off the end of my bed and rushed out the door, entering the one across the way. Inside the two joys of my life sat cross-legged in their beds waiting eagerly for me. I stopped in the doorway to admire the two little girls sitting there smiling and laughing. My daughters. They were the centre of my universe, and I would protect them no matter what cost came to me.

"Good morning my little miracles," I said in Russian. I know, shock horror, Rosemarie Hathaway learnt a different language – and not just the swear words. But in my defence I was living in Russia, and I didn't want to stand out to everyone in the town, it helped me to stay hidden.

_My daughters_, I thought wistfully as I continued watching them. My entire world changed when I found out I was pregnant, but it changed even more when I was told I was carrying twins. It is extremely rare that either a moroi or a dhampir would fall pregnant with twins, there had only been one recorded case of it ever happening, and it didn't end nicely either.

I was living in a small Russian town called Baia. Dimitri had talked about it once in our training sessions together, it was where he grew up. I didn't go there with the pathetic teenage hope that he would visit and see me, I actually chose Baia for the exact opposite. I knew no one would ever think to look there, not even Dimitri. Baia was beautiful, it was nothing like the arctic wasteland I once claimed it to be. It was quaint, but had everything that you needed to live. A small mall offered a variety of stores adorned with clothing, books, music, furniture and so on. There was also a grocery store, chemist and a moderately sized medical centre which was pretty much the towns hospital.

It was at the medical centre that I welcomed my daughters into the world. Akeso Demetria Janine Hathaway and Tiannah Vasilisa Adrianna Hathaway – Kes and Tia for short – were born one and a half month premature, but they were healthy and strong. Their names might seem like a mouthful but they came from my family, the people I loved more than my own life. Lissa of course played a huge role in the twins being possible, so it was only fitting that they both be named after her – Akeso being the Greek Goddess of healing. None of these people knew I had named my babies after them, not even Adrian.

My girls were identical twins, and not many people could tell them apart. I knew what to look for though. Tiannah was so much like Dimitri it hurt. Her brown hair fell straight to her shoulders, and her eyes were liquid chocolate pools. She had his personality as well, she was reserved, but loyal. Every time she smiled my heart broke, it was a mirror image of the smile Dimitri rarely gave. Akeso was a lot like me. Her hair and eyes matched mine, as did her personality – unfortunately. She was strong willed, and she would always tell me if she didn't like something. But they were my everything, and I loved them to no end.

I took the girls out of their beds and put their slippers on, it was time to start the daily ritual. I got their breakfast, bathed them both and got them dressed, it was cold outside so they looked like mini Eskimo's. I needed to go to the store to replenish my food stocks, then the day would be free. Once home the girls went to play while I put away the groceries. I had settled myself in the lounge room to read a magazine I had picked up at the store when I was sucked into Lissa's head.

It wasn't unusual to for Lissa to suck me in, she did it quite often, and in the time I had been gone I had 'visited' her regularly to make sure she was okay – well as okay as she was going to be. It had been three long years since I abruptly left the academy, Lissa hadn't handled my leaving well at all, she had cried for months, and even after all the time that had passed she still wasn't the same bubbly girl I once knew. Lissa graduated from the academy at the top of her class, she had tried to be happy and celebrate, but graduation had fallen in one of the months that she was still in mourning. After graduation the gang had moved to the royal court, and much the royal community's surprise, Lissa was named heir to the moroi throne. Lissa wasn't sure that she could fulfil such a role, but the Queen wasn't known for taking no for an answer. There was so much for her to learn about being Queen, so she had decided to complete her college studies by correspondence, that's what she told everyone anyway, the truth was she didn't trust the guardians who had been assigned to her – they weren't me.

Within days of moving to the court Lissa organised a group of guardians – which included Eddie and Dimitri – to find me, though after two and a half years she'd still had no luck. That didn't mean she had given up though. She was more determined than ever to find me, and she wasn't going to let anything – or anyone – stand in her way.

Lissa and Christian got married a year after moving to the court, his proposal hadn't been the most romantic, but the wedding was amazing. Lissa's dress was absolutely beautiful, it suited her exquisitely. The tight white bodice framed her petite figure perfectly, the intricate beading shone like diamonds in the sun, from the waist the dress flared slightly, dropping elegantly to the floor where red roses were embroided into the satin material. It was royal tradition that she was to wear a long train, but Lissa had refused, stating she didn't want such a thing attached to her dress. After a week of arguments with the dress maker, Lissa had got her way. She had worn her hair down in light curls, the Dragomir tiara sat elegantly on her head, she only had the slightest touch of make-up on, but she didn't need any more. She was breathtakingly stunning, and from the look on Christian's face as Lissa tried not to run down the aisle told me he thought so too. Lissa, however, felt she was missing the main component of the day – namely me.

I hated that I had hurt Lissa so much. Ever since we were four years old we had been inseparable. It took every ounce of strength I could conjure up not to run back to her. Of course I wanted to be back with her, but I didn't belong there anymore. I would never – could never – regret the decision I had made.

Lissa was curled up in Christian's arms crying. Her sobs were loud and they shook through her entire body like aftershocks of an earthquake.

"She's meant to be here for this Chris," she said in between sobs. "She missed the wedding as it is, but she has to be here for this." She broke down into uncontrolled sobs.

"I know Liss. But you heard what Guardian Belikov said, they're close to finding her now," Christian said softly, but I could heard the distaste in his voice, it didn't seem he was happy for them to find me, but then again neither was I. "How are you really going to feel when they bring her back, after all the pain she caused you?" Lissa pulled away from him, anger flared inside her.

"She's my family Christian, I need her here. I will welcome her home with open arms," she told him, in her mind she flashed back to some of the good times we had shared together.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "It was a stupid thing for me to say, I was just venting some frustration. I know you want her here when you have the baby."

Liss was pregnant? No wonder she was so upset. Pregnancy hormones were a bitch to deal with, I'd had a double dose of them since I carried twins, and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. It was hard to know in that moment whether Lissa was truly upset, or if it was just the hormones talking. I couldn't focus on that though, there was one part of their conversation that held my attention. Christian had said they were close to finding me, it was the last thing I needed.

"Mummy?" asked one of my little angels who was standing in front of me, her voice was enough to bring me out of Lissa's head. "Are you okay Mummy?"

"I think so Tia. I was just with Aunty Lissa," I told her honestly as I smoothed out the worry lines on her forehead with my thumb.

I would have loved to be able to think of Tia and Kes as normal little girls, but in reality they were both far from normal. They each had a special ability which I believed somehow came from spirit. Tiannah's ability centred around dreams, she had dreams of the past and future, and the ones of the future all seemed to come true. Akeso could heal. At that stage it was only minor cuts and bruises, but I believed that it would only get better with time. Along with their gifts they also shared a bond. It was similar to what I had with Lissa, except it worked both ways. I had learnt over the years to know better than to think they were playing quietly, they were still chatting away to each other, just not out loud. For this age they were advanced as well. At two and a half years old they were already talking as if they were adults – their vocabulary was probably better than mine. They also spoke fluently in both English and Russian. My girls were the main reason I didn't want to be found, I feared the danger they could be in if the wrong person found out what they could do.

"Is she okay?" She asked, concern lining her face again.

"Yes honey, she's just a little scared right now," I soothed before leaning down to kiss her on the cheek.

"I had another dream Mummy," Tia told me with wonder in her voice. "We all went to the court and met Aunty Lissa, Uncle Adrian and Christian. Aunty Lissa is so beautiful. But we didn't go because we wanted to, he made us go," Tia finished with a pout.

"Do you know when this will happen baby?" I asked, nervousness shook through my voice.

"I don't really know Mummy, but I think it happens soon," she said before turning to run out of the room.

I remained on the couch for a few minutes longer, I was trying to calm my nerves. The dreams that Tia had always came true at some stage. Her describing that dream, plus Christian saying they were close to finding us had me worried. I wasn't ready to go back, I sure as hell didn't want to be dragged back. _He made us go_, Tia's words echoed around in my head, a shiver ran down my spine. I tried to shake away my thoughts and fears, it was getting late and I needed to get dinner started. I pulled myself from the couch and made my way into the kitchen. Stew was on the cards for dinner, it was going to be a cold night, so it was a perfect choice.

I took my time slicing the beef into cubes not wanting to slice my fingers as my thoughts remained uncontrolled. I placed the beef into a large pot with some onion to brown. While the beef and onions sizzled away I started peeling and chopping up the carrots, potatoes and any other vegetables I could find to put in the stew. Slowly I added the rest of the vegetables followed by the stock mixed with a little flour and some herbs and spices to season. I set the stove to a medium heat to allow everything to cook in time for dinner. It left me with enough time to get some house work done.

I couldn't be sure how effective my cleaning skills were, my mind wasn't really on the job at hand. I tried to concentrate as I wiped down the bathroom, but my thoughts wouldn't allow me any time without them. Christian's and Tia's words meshed together forming a muddled sentence that made no sense, but it was still clear to me. I couldn't help but wonder if it would be Dimitri who found us, and I couldn't help but hope it was someone else – anyone else – who found us. A sharp pain radiated through my chest, signally that my heartbreak was still as raw as it had been the day I left the academy. Even as I vacuumed the floors my thoughts screamed, their volume was louder than the rumbling sound the machine made.

A few hours later the stew smelt divine. I went back into the kitchen and found it had thickened beautifully, it was the consistency of a silky gravy. I tasted a spoonful and I almost died and went to heaven right then. It was delicious. Three years before hand I would never have imagined cooking food like that, it was silky smooth and full of flavour.

"Tia, Kes, dinner is ready," I called out. "Don't make me call you twice." I added in a very motherly tone.

They both ran eagerly into the kitchen and climbed into their chairs at the table. The one thing they both got from me was my appetite. Even as babies they had strong appetites, and it was growing every day, but to look at them you wouldn't tell, they were smaller than any dhampir child their age. I placed their bowls in front of them, and without hesitation they dug in. I was just about to fill my bowl when there was a knock at the door.

I froze where I stood, and from the corner of my eye I saw the girls had done the same. The last time there was a knock at the door after dark I had opened it to find two strigoi. I had killed them after a long battle, but they had caught me off guard, and there was no way I would allow that to happen again. I slowly opened the top draw and pulled out one of the many charmed stakes I had placed around my home. I held a single finger to my lips, indicating for the girls to keep quiet. As I crept out of the kitchen, I closed the door behind me, if it was strigoi I wasn't about to let Tia and Kes see me fight for our lives.

"Who is it?" I asked through the door. I knew it was a stupid question, but I didn't know what else to say, I didn't think it was safe enough to get close to the glass next to the door.

"It's Olena dear. Won't you open the door, it's dark out here," a kind female voice replied.

I turned on the outside light and peered through the pane of glass beside the door. There stood Olena, looking as much like a dhampir as the last time I had seen her. Only she wasn't alone. Behind her stood a tall, muscled, Russian God. The man who had broken my heart over three years before. The man I had run away from. The man I never wanted to see again.

Dimitri.


	5. Found

FOUND

I slowly opened the door and greeted Olena with a light hug. She has been good to me ever since I arrived in Baia – she was like my own personal guardian angel. She worked as a midwife at the medical centre, and she had been the only one who had spoken a decent amount of English. Without Olena I would have been lost, she pretty much instantly took me under her wing and taught me everything I needed to know about being a mother, she also taught me to speak Russian. After the twins were born I would call her in the middle of the night freaking out over the smallest of things, she always took my calls – even if it was two in the morning – and she never complained.

Olena had three daughter of her own, who were also very warm and welcoming. At first it was a little suffocating for me. For most of my life there had only been Lissa. Sure I had stayed with her family a few times, but they weren't like Olena and her family. I soon adjusted to their nature and settled into the small town life Baia offered. Karolina and Sonya – Olena's oldest daughters – were amazing to me, they took me shopping for baby stuff, and kept me calm when I freaked out about being a mother. When I first arrived in Baia Karolina had a young son – Paul who was six, he had grown so much while I had been in Baia – and a baby on the way, Sonya was also heavily pregnant. They had had their babies only two weeks apart, and five months before the twins were born. Karolina had named her daughter Zoya, Sonya had named her son Makar.

Olena's youngest daughter, Viktoria, was still attending an academy that was about a ten hour drive away from Baia. She should have graduated the year before, but due to personal reasons she had needed to take some time off. Viktoria and I had become good friends almost instantly, she reminded me a lot of myself – a younger me, before I was pregnant of course. She and I would train together when she was on breaks from the academy, and I knew she was going to be a badass guardian – like I would have been. She had such drive in her – again reminding me of how I used to be – and she was determined to be the best she could be.

The whole family had been a blessing to me – even Yeva, in her own cryptic way – and my girls and I loved them so much. The one thing I was having trouble with was why Dimitri would be with Olena of all people.

"What brings you here at this time of night Olena?" I asked as I helped her out of her heavy coat. "You know it's not safe around here at the moment."

When I first moved to Baia strigoi attacks were extremely rare. We had the occasional one or two wander in, but they were usually very young, and extremely stupid. But over the time I had lived there they had become more common. People were no longer going out at night, even if it was an absolute emergency. They stayed inside, and prayed their door wouldn't be bashed down in the middle of the night.

"Dimitri was looking for a girl that fits your description," she explained with caution. "I told him about you, though I expressed that the chances of it being you were incredibly slim. But he insisted on coming here tonight anyway."

My heart sunk. I had been found by the one person I never wanted to see again. Not for a million years. For the first time since I had ushered them both inside I looked at him. My breath caught in my throat as I remembered all of the reasons I had loved him, and all of the reasons I had run away. He hadn't changed much in the three years since I had seen him, he was still the most gorgeous man who had ever walked the earth. His hair was tied at the nape of his neck and his eyes were dark as I searched for any spark of emotion in them. He had always been good at hiding his emotions, and it seemed that had certainly not changed. His guardian mask was firmly in place, nothing was going to leak past it.

"I just made dinner, the girls are eating, so if you don't mind can we take this into the lounge room?" I asked in defeat. "Give me a second, I just need to let them know everything's okay, I'll meet you in there."

Olena lead Dimitri towards the lounge room while I went in the opposite direction to the kitchen. I opened the door to find the girls had finished their dinner and were waiting patiently – well in the case of Kes it was more impatiently – for me to return. I quickly took their bowls to the sink, put the stake back in the draw and told them to go and play quietly in their room, I then headed to the lounge room to face the wrath of Dimitri.

As I entered the lounge room I found Olena sitting on the couch, looking somewhat uncomfortable. Dimitri was standing in front the lit fire, looking at the photo frames on the mantle. He was so enthralled by the photos that he didn't hear me enter the room, which was very unlike him. The photos were all of the girls and I, and they ranged from them being babies at the medical centre, to a photo taken just a few weeks before. The one that seemed to hold his attention was the most recent one. Tia looked a lot like Dimitri in that photo.

"What do you want Guardian Belikov?" I asked, my voice was full of venom. It was the second stupid question I had asked that night, I already knew what he wanted.

"You know my son?" Olena asked incredulously.

"Your son?" I asked mirroring her tone.

I had known his family lived in Baia, but he had never named them. I was more than shocked to hear Olena call him her son. I had known Olena for as long as I had lived in Baia, she had often talked fondly of her son, but she never said anything that made me think she was talking about Dimitri. _How stupid could I be?_ I cursed myself. I had grown so close to Olena, as had my daughters. My mind was reeling with the possibility that my daughters had grown close to one of their grandmothers, without us even knowing. Dimitri turned around, his guardian mask was firmly in place, but it didn't quite reach his eyes, I could see slight confusion in them, but I couldn't quite pick the other emotion they held.

"I am here to take you back," Dimitri said nonchalantly, but I could see the energy he was using to keep his tone level as he spoke.

"Sorry to break it to you Guardian Belikov, but I have a home here now, my daughters are happy and so am I," I told him, anger was slowly creeping into my voice.

"Daughters? You really have become a blood whore, haven't you?" His voice was full of disgust, I couldn't help but flinch at his words.

"Dimitri Belikov!" Olena scolded. "Rose is no such thing."

"How would you know Mama?" He questioned her, his voice had reverted back to a calmer tone.

"I followed Rose through her _one_ pregnancy," she said putting heavy emphasis on the one. "She had a hard pregnancy, and we struggled to keep them all alive at one point," she explained.

I cringed at the memory. As I previously mentioned, there had only been one recorded case of a multiple pregnancy, and it hadn't ended very nicely. The moroi mother and both her babies had died before they were even born, and that very nearly happened to me. Olena, the doctors and Oksana – a spirit user – fought for the lives of my daughters and I. And thankfully they had been successful.

"You had _twins_?" He asked, his attention snapping back to me.

"And what if I did?" I snapped. "You've make it clear how you feel about me, twice now! So just go Dimitri, go report back to Lissa that I'm fine, just leave me the hell alone." I saw guilt flash across his handsome face as my words hit him.

My old attitude was slowly leaking back into me. After I moved to Baia I changed, I knew I had. I became calmer – apart from the horrid hormones – and didn't feel the need to snap as much as I once had. But as I stood in the small lounge room which was dimly lit by an old floor lamp, I could feel myself reverting back to my old ways. It was a strange sensation, one that I wasn't sure whether to fight against or not. I decided that having a bit of attitude in that moment wasn't going to be a bad thing, after all I wasn't going anywhere with Dimitri and he needed to know that.

"The princess wants you back with her where you will all be safe. From what Mama has told me about the strigoi attacks, it's the best option for you all," he said, his voice was noticeably calmer.

"No Dimitri, it won't be safer there, not for any of us. And in case you've forgotten or simply didn't get the memo, I'm not a guardian, I dropped out. You have no rule over me, you cannot force me, or my daughters, to go anywhere with you," I yelled at him putting every bit of force I had into my words.

The gifts the girls had made them targets, I already knew that, even if they hadn't been in any danger. I had made sure no one knew about what they could do. Not even Olena knew. The girls seemed to know the importance of keeping their abilities a secret. Dhampir's didn't have magical powers, only moroi harnessed them, and I knew that if it ever got out they would be in danger. I couldn't allow that to happen. The need to protect my daughters overrode any desire I had to run back to Lissa. From a young age I'd had it drummed into me that 'they come first'. I still lived by that same saying, but to me it no longer referred to moroi, it referred to my daughters.

"You dropped out because running was the easy option. Doctor Olendzki told us that she would have found a way for you to graduate. You could have become a guardian Rose, but you decided to run away from your problems," he snapped, his voice was cold as ice.

"Easy?" I screeched at him. "I ran away _with_ my problems Dimitri, and it sure as hell wasn't the easy option! If I had stayed my babies and I would be dead, didn't you hear what your mother said? We all nearly died, and it was only because of their work along with a spirit user, who knew what she needed to do, that we are still alive. And if I had stayed and survived I would have been used for science experiments, you should know that!" I paused briefly to take a rushed breath and to gather my thoughts. "Anyway, what the hell do you care? I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't let me get three words out."

"They are my children too Rose."

"So you're finally willing to acknowledge that fact?" I spat out. "A little too late Dimitri...no scrap that, much too late Dimitri, you won't be going anywhere near them!"

"Hang on a minute," Olena interrupted, I had all but forgotten she was there. "Rose, did you fall pregnant to another dhampir?" There was something in her voice that I couldn't quite describe.

"None of that matters. He needs to leave, now!" I exclaimed pointing at Dimitri. "This is my home, and I don't want him here."

Dimitri didn't move and Olena just stared at me, her face was blank. I was beyond angry as I began pacing in the small room. _How dare he come into my home and demand we go back to court with him_, I thought bitterly. He had made it absolutely clear that I was nothing but a slut and a blood whore to him, so really why the hell would I have gone anywhere with him?

"Dimitri, I would like a word with Rose in private," Olena said in a level tone. "Rose, would you mind coming out to the entrance with me?" She asked, but I knew I didn't have much choice.

Dimitri stayed where he was as Olena stood from the couch. She walked past me and out the door while I remained where I was glaring at him. I slowly turned and followed Olena out to the hall, closing the lounge room door behind me. She stood near the kitchen door, facing away from me. Her arms were crossed tightly against her chest, her body was so rigid. I had never seen Olena like that before, she had always been so open and warm. But in that moment she was closed and cold.

"Is Dimitri the father of the twins?" She asked, still facing away from me. "This is no time for lying Rose. If he is that would mean…well I'm not sure what that would mean. Dhampir's cannot reproduce with each other." Her voice trailed off as she became lost in thought.

I sighed. "He is their father, and the only explanation I can think of is that I'm shadow kissed. I tried to tell him before I left the academy, but he instantly jumped to the conclusion that I had slept with someone else." My head fell forward, I don't know why but I felt ashamed. "I never knew you were his mother Olena, I promise I didn't."

"I believe you Rose. But this changes things. I can feel it now, my mother tried to warn me this was coming, but I didn't listen to her. And now I see why you mentioned being used as a science experiment," she mused at the thought.

"I don't want to leave Olena. This is our home." I started, but remembered what Olena had just said. "What did Yeva say?"

Olena didn't reply for a moment, she seemed to be thinking deeply about something before she turned to face me and spoke again. "I don't think it's safe here for any of you dear. You know there were next to no attacks when you moved here, but now they are becoming more and more common. My mother tried to warn me about the attacks, she said the strigoi were coming for something very special, but they could never be allowed to take it, it would mean the end for all of us. Do you really think it is merely coincidence that they knocked on your door Rose? No, I don't think it is." Her tone was soothing, but it held urgency.

"You think they know we're here?" I asked her incredulously. I couldn't get my head around what she was saying, did Yeva honestly think that the strigoi wanted me or my daughters? It sounded insane.

"I think Yeva is right, I think they know you're here, and things are only going to get worst the longer you and the girls stay here. At least at court you would have the safety of the wards for now. You would just need to keep the identity of the girls' father a secret," she explained slowly, it was if she expected it to be hard for me to understand the information.

"Oh," I sighed. "I need to keep them safe," I said in barely a whisper. "What about you and your family? They might come after you if we leave?"

"Yes, Yeva saw that too," she said, worry lines grew across her forehead. "Perhaps we could find refuge at the court for time being."

"I need some fresh air before I put the girls to bed," I said as I walked towards the front door. "Please don't let Dimitri near them just yet. I need some time to explain the situation to them."

Olena gave a stiff nod before I walked out the front door and onto the porch of my home. The night air was crisp, but it was easy to ignore it with the train wreck of throughs in my head. I moved slowly to the swing that hung from the roof and sat down, swinging slightly as I tried to gather my thoughts. My brain was heading into information overload. _Are the strigoi really coming for my children?_ _Are they drawn to them somehow, or do they just know that we are here?_ I thought as I tried to calm the chaos in my head. I didn't know the answers, all I knew was that I needed to do whatever I could to keep my daughters safe. I wasn't entirely convinced that going to the royal court was the best of ideas, but at that point in time it seemed like the only thing I had on offer. I sighed as I considered what it would be like to see Lissa again, to see everyone again.

Nausea struck me before I saw him. I instantly knew what the feeling in my stomach was telling me. I jumped up from the swing, sending it crashing into the side of the house with a loud bang. My eyes scanned the front yard as I slowly walked towards the front door, they finally fell upon him as he strode up the path. His hair was jet black and cut into a crew cut style, his height told me he was moroi before he was turned. His face was chalky white, and even from a distance I could see the red rings around his eyes. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs that led onto the porch.

"Ah, Rosemarie, what an honour," he said, his voice was silky and formal, but it held menace.

"What the hell do you want?" I snarled as I dropped into a defensive stance in front of the door.

"Oh you know exactly what I want," he said with a smirk. "I want those lovely children of yours. We know what they can do, they will aid us in our victory."

"You will never get even remotely close to my children." I spoke in a tone that I didn't even recognise.

"Oh, you will think much differently once I have awakened you my dear," he chuckled.

"And you think you'll get that close to me?" I let out a dark laugh.

"I don't think, I know," he said as he lunged towards me.

I was only a foot away from the front door, which put me in a really bad position. I dodged his lunge and threw a kick his way. My foot connected with his face, but it didn't faze him one bit. He was an old strigoi, and that made him strong. I quickly moved back into a defensive stance, ignoring the sharp pain in my foot – the kick might not have worried him, but it hurt me like hell. He feigned to the left but attacked from the right, in a speed that made him a blur to me. I was tired after a long day and a restless night sleep, my reflexes weren't as fast as they should have been. I hit the porch floor hard, the wind knocked out of my lungs. I struggled to get back up, but he was holding me down with ease. I felt – and heard – a sickening crack in the wrist he was holding against the floor boards, an involuntary scream of agony escaped my lips.

"Dimitri," I cried out as I realised I no longer had a stake to end this fight.

His face whipped down towards mine, he looked into my eyes for a second before his fangs cut deep into my neck. Before I could begin to comprehend what was happening the sweet sensation of the endorphins hit my system. It was much stronger than I could have ever expected – but it's not every day you get bitten by a strigoi. My head swirled with delight while something in the back of my mind told me to fight, but I couldn't, I didn't want to. Black spots began to fill my vision, unconsciousness lapped closer to me. I sank away into the darkness feeling on top of the world.


	6. Saved

SAVED

My eyes were heavy as I tried to open them. I could feel the softness of cushions under my back and the warmth of blankets on top of me, but apart from that all I felt was disorientated and sluggish. My head was spinning and my body felt like it was on fire. After what felt like an eternity my eyes opened. The soft glow of a fire lit the small room, and after a few moments I recognised my surroundings as my own lounge room. As soon as I figured out where I was, the memory of what happened came pounding down on me.

I tried to sit up but my head went into a spin that should have made me pass out again, but I was too focused on the problem at hand to allow that to happen. My daughters. I needed to make sure they were safe. The strigoi had come for them. He had bitten me, in an attempt to turn me into one of those vile, soulless creatures. Had it happened? I began to panic and it only got worse when I heard the floor boards shift beside me, I let out what was supposed to be a scream – unfortunately it was more like a whimper.

"Shhh Roza, it's okay," Dimitri soothed me. "You lost a lot of blood, but Mama assured me that it wasn't a life threatening amount, your wrist is broken, and your ankle is badly sprained, but apart from that you're okay," he told me softly as he knelt down beside me.

"My daughters?" I asked, my voice was croaky, and my throat burned like a warehouse fire had erupted inside it.

"Mama put them to bed, she's staying in there with them tonight. They are safe. I promise you Roza, they are safe." He said as he gently moved hair away from my face.

"Oh God, he came for them Dimitri. He wanted to turn me and then take my girls," I said as a tear slid down my cheek. I shook away the weakness I was feeling, it wasn't something that sat comfortably with me.

"He's gone Roza, he won't hurt you again, he won't get near the girls ever. I thought I was too late, I thought I was losing you for good this time." A shudder cursed through his body.

"You killed him?" I asked softly, though I was sure I already knew the answer, after all I was still a dhampir.

"Yes, I heard the swing crash against the house, but I didn't think much of it, I thought you were just blowing off steam." He slowly shook his head. "Then I heard you scream and cry out for me, I moved as quickly as I could," he explained softly. "He was biting you when I got there, but he didn't hear me coming."

"Olena was right," I sighed. "They are coming here for us."

"We need to leave Roza, we need to keep you and the girls safe," he told me. "I can't stand the thought of losing you again, nor do I want to ever risk losing them." I heard the pain in his voice, it caused his accent to come across slightly thicker than usual.

"Why do you care Dimitri? I'm nothing but a slut and blood whore to you anyway," I snapped, which only made pain thump inside my head.

"I was stupid Roza. I should have let you explain. But the thought of you being with someone else just killed me, I couldn't see past my own rage. I could never apologise enough for what I've said to you." His voice shook with emotion. "I know you aren't a blood whore, that was another stupid and reckless moment of anger that I couldn't control."

It definitely wasn't how I had seen my day heading when I woke up. Things had really gotten out of control, and my mind was racing to catch up with everything that had happened around me. I was relieved beyond imagination that my girls were safe, but I was beginning to realise that wasn't going to be forever. The strigoi were after them, and there was no luxury of time left to work out a plan of attack. To make matters worse I really didn't know if court would be a safe haven for them either. If the wrong people found out about their parentage or abilities, I knew things would turn bad there as well.

I focused on my breathing, I tried to take slow, deep breaths, but it took a lot of effort, my body didn't seem to want to relax. My head was still spinning from blood loss, but it wasn't as bad as when I first woke up. I knew I needed something to eat, but I wasn't sure I could stomach anything. I had almost died – yet again – at the hands of a strigoi. My daughters were in danger. My life was going to hell right in front of me, and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it from hitting the brick wall ahead. I stopped myself from throwing Dimitri into the mix, my thoughts were complicated enough already. So really the last thing I felt I could stomach was food, but I pushed through it.

"I need something to eat," I said changing the subject, I didn't want to hear him saying sorry, mainly because I knew I would forgive him in a heartbeat. I tried to sit up again, but Dimitri's firm hand on my shoulder held me down.

"Stay there, I'll get you something," he said. Once he was happy that I was staying put he left the small room without another word.

Five minutes later Dimitri came back with a bowl of hot stew, a chocolate bar and a glass of water. I slowly sat up with his help and drank down the water first, it felt like heaven as it slid down my aching throat. Next was the stew. I knew it tasted good, but the flavour was overruled by the sting in my throat as it went down. Even though the pain made me wince I continued eating, I needed energy to protect my daughters. I finished the stew and placed the empty bowl on the floor before I slowly sunk back into the pillows I was resting against. Dimitri handed me the chocolate bar, I didn't really want to eat it, my stomach was already feeling unsettled from the stew, but I knew the sugar would help me recover somewhat from the blood loss.

"Did you cook that stew?" Dimitri asked cocking one eyebrow – I still couldn't do that which annoyed me to no end.

"Yeah," I replied.

"I never took you as a cook," he chuckled. "It smelt really good."

"A lot has happened over the past three years Dimitri," I told him, I didn't even realise I had spoken in Russian instead of English until the words replayed in my head.

Dimitri looked at me as though he was only just seeing me for the first time. The light in his eyes was shining bright, with joy, affection, and…love? I tried to ignore what I thought I had seen and looked away. He had hurt me, and I wasn't sure if I could go back there again. A lot had happened in the three years I had been gone. I had changed, I had grown, I was mature – well as mature as I was sure I would ever get. I was a mother, and my children came first, especially when it came to my love life. In the past three years I had been asked out on a number of dates, but I never accepted them. As much as I'd like to say it was only because of my daughters, it was also because I didn't trust anyone with my heart – the heart that I knew deep down still belonged to Dimitri.

"So when are we leaving?" I asked, in English this time, stealthily changing the subject once again.

"We will have a private jet waiting for us at first light," he told me. "Mama has already contacted my sister, Sonya, and told her she needed to pack up so they would be ready to leave. Sonya isn't overly impressed, she doesn't seem to see the danger."

"What about Viktoria?"

"The jet will stop at her academy to pick her up. They understand the danger that is present. From there we will fly directly to court."

"I just ruin things for everyone," I said softly. "I'm like a disease. Your family has to pack up and leave their home all because of me, Viktoria probably won't be able to do her finals again, she's trained so hard and I've just ruined it for her." Bitterness dripped off my words.

"That's not true Roza," Dimitri said trying to smooth the worry lines on my forehead with his fingers.

"Yes it is," I snapped. "Everything I touch goes to hell."

"My family loves you Roza. My mother adores you to no end," he explained. "They would all walk over hot coals, even run through the fires of hell, to make sure you and those girls are okay."

"I don't deserve it." I turned my head away from him.

"What are their names?" Dimitri asked, not so subtly changing the subject. "I mean the twins."

"Akeso Demetria Janine and Tiannah Vasilisa Adrianna," I started. "There isn't really a female version of Dimitri, so I settled for Demetria," I explained.

"They are beautiful names Roza," he cooed.

"They are beautiful girls," I said with a slight shrug. "Tiannah is like you in every way. They are identical twins, but she has your hair and eyes, your personality too. Kes is pretty much a mini me, which isn't the easiest to live with at times." I laughed slightly.

"I wish I had been there for you, and the girls. Although I will understand if you do, I hope you don't send me away. I want to help protect them Roza," he said, the thick emotion in his voice once again caused his Russian accent to come through stronger, it almost made me melt.

"You can't help protect them, you don't know anything about them. No one does," I said softly, ending in barely a whisper.

It was almost the truth. No one – living and with a soul – knew about their abilities and I wanted to keep it that way, but it was becoming clear that it wasn't going to be any easy feat. The first time Kes healed me, and the first time I had realised one of Tia's had come true, I was been terrified. It just got worst as the months went by, as their abilities grew, so did my paranoia. The girls knew not to talk while around people other than me, they knew not to use their abilities – apart from the bond – when anyone else was around. It was hardest for Kes, she hated seeing people hurt, she really wanted to heal anyone and everyone, but she tried her hardest not to. What scared me the most was the possible negative effects they could get from using their abilities. Lissa, Adrian and Oksana all suffered from negative effects of spirit use. Yes my daughters were dhampir – as far as I knew anyway – but that didn't mean they were exempt from suffering similar effects. I often talked to them about whether they felt different after using their gifts, but they always told me they didn't. I could only take their word for it – and watch them like a hawk – but it still worried me to no end.

"I know their parentage is something we need to keep secret," he said as he brushed more hair away from my face.

Somewhere deep inside I knew I should have been swiping his hand away and telling him to stop calling me Roza, they were after all signs of affection, but I couldn't find it within my heart to do so. It reminded me of a time in the distant past where I had been happy, well as happy as my life would have ever permitted. They were the signs of affection I could handle at that point, it wasn't as though he was professing his love for me, and for all I knew it could have been him just caring for his injured ex-student, not his love, or mother of his children. There was still anger bubbling away inside of me, anger that was directed at Dimitri, but I didn't act on it, it wasn't the time nor the place for such an eruption.

"There's more to it than just that Dimitri. If it was only that I wouldn't be so scared," I whispered. When it came to Tia and Kes I didn't trust anyone. I wondered if Dimitri could possibly feel the same need to protect them as I did, even though he hadn't met them.

"What do you mean?" He asked, confusion was obvious in his tone.

"Can I trust you?" I asked without really considering my words before I spoke them. "I mean would you protect those girls with your life if necessary?"

"Of course I would Roza, they are my daughters, I would lay down my life in an instant if that's what it took to save them." He paused for a moment to consider the look on my face, I don't know what he saw, but he became slightly panicked. "What is it Roza?"

I sighed softly, deciding to listen to my heart instead of my head – which was screaming all kinds of profanities at me. "They have abilities Dimitri. Spirit abilities. I have no idea how, but it's real," I said in a hushed tone. "You are the only one I have ever told. And I'm only telling you now because I hope and pray that you will feel the same way I do." I paused as I saw the information settling in his mind. "I need you to keep this to yourself for now. It's bad enough that the strigoi know," I told him putting as much force as I could into my words.

"I won't tell a soul Roza. But I don't understand, what you mean when you say they have spirit abilities?"

"Tia has dreams, and one hundred percent of them have come true at some point. She told me earlier today that we would be going to court, but not because we wanted to, she said '_he made us go_', sound familiar at all?" He nodded in reply. "She also has dreams of the past, from before they were born, she hasn't told me much about them though, only little snippets here and there." I paused for a moment so Dimitri could absorb the information. "Kes…well Kes can heal. At this stage it's only minor injuries. But it's growing, and it scares the hell out of me."

"Wow." It was all he could manage to say, emotions flashed across his god-like features, ranging from disbelief to awe. "That's amazing." I could hear the wonder in his voice.

"They're pretty advanced for their age too," I continued. "They're two and a half and can already speak fluently in English and Russian, and I mean they speak better than I do, better than anyone I know. I swear they find a new way every day to amaze me," I said, wonder crept into my voice. I left out the bond, I figured the amount of information I had already given him was enough for the time being, I was also kind of curious to see how long it would take him to pick it up – if he picked it up at all.

"I've missed so much," he said, his voice held so much sadness. "I'm so sorry Roza."

I felt all anger towards Dimitri leave me in that moment. Maybe it was the blood loss or the fact that he had just saved me, but his sadness touched me in a way that I should have hated, he genuinely sounded like he was sorry. Still I knew I couldn't let him simply say sorry and have everything forgotten. I wasn't sure I could ever forgive what he's said to me, the hurt was still raw inside my heart.

I had often dreamed of what it would have been like if Dimitri had accepted they were his children, I dreamed of how it would have felt to be a family, but those dreams only hurt more than the reality did. I had stopped thinking about the 'what ifs' a long time ago, and it seemed surreal to have Dimitri in my home after so long apart, talking about our children for the first time. I felt the urge to pinch myself, but I resisted, after all it would have only made me look stupid.

"I don't want your apologies Dimitri. What's happened has happened, and I'm not ready to offer forgiveness." I told him as I stared across the room, unable to look at him as I spoke. "Right now I need to look into the future. I need to look into the twins' future more importantly. And I need to know if you're going to be there through whatever is going to come." My voice was chillingly calm.

"I'm not going anywhere Roza, I promise you," he pledged.

"And don't think that just because I'm letting you be there with us that I will forgive you, I may never forgive you Dimitri. I need someone on our side, that's all," I said, I needed to make sure he understood the situation.

"I understand, but it won't stop me from trying to make it up to you and my daughters." I heard the determination in his voice.

"Where's Eddie?" I asked, scolding myself internally for not remembering my once good friend who was meant to be searching for me as well. "I mean wasn't he supposed to be with you?"

"He was up until a few weeks ago," Dimitri replied, sadness flashed in his eyes, his guardian mask was long forgotten. "He was injured in a fight while we were in Paris, so we sent him back to court for some rest."

"What happened, and who else is here?"

"There's five other guardians, they're currently at Mama's house waiting to leave. As for Eddie, well we ran into some strigoi while we were looking for any leads. He wasn't hurt all that bad, but he needed to rest."

I nodded slowly as I sat up slightly and glanced out the window. The sky was just starting to turn dark blue as the sun edged closer to making its appearance. My head spun a little, but by that stage it was bearable. I pushed my legs to the side of the couch – causing Dimitri to have to move out of the way – and eased them onto the floor. A sharp pain shot up my leg as my injured ankle hit the floor, the force of the pain made me reconsider my decision to get up for a spilt second, but there were things I needed to do. It felt a lot worse than a sprain, but I took Dimitri's word for it, I was sure Olena would have checked it for me. Both my ankle and wrist were strapped tightly to prevent further injury. I hoped Adrian would be able to heal me a little when we arrived at court – if he was still talking to me that was.

"I need to start packing. We're leaving at first light right?" I asked confirming the plan.

"Yes we are, though we still have a couple of hours before that." His hand was resting on my shoulder again, he obviously wanted me to stay where I was.

"I know that, but I not only have to pack my own things, I also have two little girls to get organised," I said as a reminder.

"Want some help?"

"I guess." I shrugged

I managed to get off the couch and we made our way slowly down the short hallway. My house was only small, two bedrooms, one bathroom, a lounge room and a kitchen that doubled as a dining room. It was more like a cottage really, but I loved it. Sure I would have loved something a little bigger, but I made do with what I had. When I found out I was having twins I had rearranged things. I put the girls in the main bedroom because it was much larger. Two cribs and everything else they needed took up a lot of space. My twin bed was crammed into the smaller room, there was barely enough room for the dresser in there.

"You took the smaller room?" He asked incredulously.

"I had twins Dimitri, their stuff wouldn't have fit in here." I shrugged as I walked into my room. "Being a parent means you sacrifice, no matter what it costs you."

"You've really grown up Roza," he said in amazement.

Again I shrugged as I pulled a suitcase out from under the bed. I put it on the bed and threw it open, the smell of mildew filled my nose, I hadn't used the suitcases since I'd bought them two years before. I slowly hobbled to the dresser and started pulling clothes out, throwing them into the case as I went. There was absolutely no type of order to my packing, and from the corner of my eye I could see Dimitri slowly shaking his head, a grin spread across his lips. Once I had all my clothes piled in the suitcase I turned around to face my dilemma. There was no way all of my clothes were going to fit in the one suitcase. I sighed loudly and started pulling out clothes that I knew I wouldn't wear at court, slowly getting more order within the suitcase. I also pulled out a pair of low cut skinny jeans and a tank top, along with a large hoodie and a pair of underwear with a matching bra.

"I need to get changed," I said looking down at my ripped and blood stained clothes. "Don't think it would go down too well arriving at court dressed like this." I smirked at the though.

Dimitri got the hint and left the room, closing the door behind him. I could hear him pacing just outside my door, he was mumbling under his breath. Something about being stupid and losing three years, but for the most part I couldn't understand what he was saying. I slowly slipped off my ruined clothes and replaced them with clean, sweet smelling ones. Once I was done I opened my door to find Dimitri standing right in front of me. His smell was intoxicating as I breathed him in and I wanted nothing more than to meet his lips with mine. _You can't do this_, I told myself sternly and took a step back.

"What's the time?" I asked quickly, trying to steady my heart which was beating rapidly within my chest.

"Five thirty," he answered after checking his watch, he looked as flustered as I felt.

"And the girls are still asleep?" I asked feigning shock. They never slept that late, five in the morning was the latest they ever slept till.

"Is that wrong?" He asked seeming nervous.

"Not wrong exactly, but they are usually up well before now," I laughed. "Unfortunately I'll have to wake them, I need to start packing their stuff."

I walked quietly into the girls room alone to find Olena asleep against Akeso's bed. It was such a beautiful sight, and I hated that I needed to disturb her. I sighed and went to the wardrobe in the room, moving as quietly as I could. I grabbed the suitcase that sat on top of the wardrobe and started packing the twins clothes along with some of their toys. I slowly zipped up the case, annoyed at how loud the zip was as it moved around. Olena stirred, but didn't wake. I picked up the case with my good hand and limped painfully out of the room. As I emerged Dimitri had a grin on his face, but he instantly took the case from me.

"What? I couldn't bear to wake them, they look so peaceful." I said after softly closing the door.

I quickly – well as quick as I could move without too much pain – went into the lounge room and gathered all the photos from the mantle. I couldn't bring myself to leave things like that behind, I had made sure to get the photo of Lissa and I as well. After they were safely packed I went into the kitchen. I could only speak for my girls and myself, but I knew we would get really hungry, it was going to be a long flight, so snack food was needed. I packed all the cookies and potato chips I could find, all the while Dimitri was watching me.

The girls weren't awake at six thirty, and the sun was starting to rise. I walked into their room and gently shook Olena. She blinked a few times before her eyes snapped open, wide and alert. I told her the time and she hurried to get up, apologising for sleeping so late. It took half an hour to get the girls up and dressed, both of them looked at me with worried little faces.

"Are you okay Mummy?" Kes asked softly as I tied her shoe laces.

"Of course baby, we just need to hurry," I told her softly.

"But you got hurt Mummy," Tia said sadly looking at my strapped wrist.

"A little, but I had a friend help me." I could see Tia was trying to bite her tongue as to not say something, her eyes had that knowing look to them.

I ignored the need to ask Tia what she knew and quickly made the girls some toast which they ate as we ran out of the front door. As we rushed to the van waiting for us I took one last look back at our home, not knowing if we would ever be back.


	7. Home?

HOME?

The flight was long, and very boring. I was surprised Tia and Kes didn't so stir crazy, I was close to it though. As Dimitri had said we would, we stopped at the academy and picked up Viktoria. She had greeted me warmly with a hug, though her sisters hadn't been as kind. They weren't exactly impressed by the whole situation, and their blame was strongly focused on no other than me. I tried to apologise, but they wouldn't hear it. I wasn't sure they ever would. It was my fault after all. I was the reason they had to pack up their lives and move to place where they would never be accepted – a place where I'd never be accepted. I hated the position I had put them in, and if I could have changed it I would have, in a heartbeat. The worst thing was they didn't even know the whole story.

Sonya and Karolina only knew that strigoi were after me, and they had to leave because of it. So really they only knew one of the facts – which wasn't even entirely true, the strigoi weren't after me so much, they wanted my daughters - and I really didn't know if they even knew the main fact of the whole situation. I wasn't about to put all of my problems on a scale to see just how fucked up I really was, I already had a good idea about that.

Although Yeva wasn't surprised about the situation, she still wasn't happy about it, but mainly she focused her anger at Olena for not listening to her sooner. I had heard her mumbling in Russian, something about things getting more out of hand than they needed to be. She spoke to me briefly, but it was just more cryptic sentences that I couldn't help but worry about, her words replayed in my head like a broken record, _you know the one who wants, child, and when the time comes only they will be able to save us all_. I forced myself to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. She was talking about my daughters saving our world, they were only two and a half, they shouldn't have been worrying about anything but what toy was their favourite for the day.

For most of the flight my thoughts were a mess. If I wasn't feeling guilty over what I was putting the entire Belikov family through, I was thinking about my daughters and how they could possibly save everyone, and if it wasn't either of those I was thinking about seeing Lissa again. She had said she would welcome me back with open arms, but I couldn't help but wonder if that were true. Court was by far the last place in the world I wanted to be, but it would be so much worse if she didn't want me around. And what about Adrian? It had been months since he'd been in my dreams. He hadn't replied to any of my e-mails, and one time I had become so desperate to talk to him that I called – international calls aren't cheap – but he didn't answer.

For months I had been trying to figure out what I had done to gain the silent treatment from him. But for the life of me I couldn't work it out. I had constantly thought back to the dreams he had visited, the e-mails I had written, but I couldn't think of anything I had said wrong – or done wrong in the case of the dreams. And I knew he was okay, I had seen him around when I was 'visiting' Lissa. He had seemed content – I wouldn't say he looked happy – and he was safe and well as far as I could see.

Towards the end of the flight the girls fell asleep. They had refused to sit in their own seats, instead they were snuggled together in the one, holding each other as though their lives depended on it. I wrapped a blanket around them to make sure they stayed warm enough, and kissed each of their cheeks. I moved back to my seat – which was across from where they were sleeping – and snuggled back under my own blanket. I was just drifting off to the world of slumber when I felt the seat beside me dip down.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he said, his voice husky yet silky smooth.

Dimitri had talked to the girls briefly at the start of the flight. He had introduced himself as my former mentor, since I had explicitly told him I didn't want them to know who he was yet. The girls' had been enthralled with his stories about what I had been like at the academy, his eyes shone with pride as he told them how hard I had trained. They kept rattling off questions, but I told them there would be plenty of time for them to talk to Dimitri, secretly hoping to bide my time before they found out the truth. Unfortunately Tia still had that knowing look in her eyes, and when she looked at Dimitri her small features held so much love.

"I wasn't asleep yet," I said sleepily.

"It's been a long couple of days," he said softly.

"Yeah, it's not every day you almost die," I laughed slightly.

"That's nothing to laugh about, you scared me Roza," he said, his eyes laid lovingly on the twins.

"It will take more than a strigoi to take me away from those girls," I said snuggling further into my blanket, I knew the only reason I was still alive was because Dimitri had come to my rescue. But knowing that and admitting it to him in that moment were two completely different things. "They have been my life for two and a half years Dimitri, they're my world, and if anything happened to them I would die. I never saw myself as a mother until I found out I was pregnant."

"I gave up on the hope of being a father a long time ago now. When I fell in love with you, I knew I could never be with anyone else," he said, sadness seeped into his voice. I remembered his reason for not accepting Tasha's offer.

"You never know where life will take you Comrade," I said with a slight smile.

"Since when did you start giving Zen Lessons?" He asked with a laugh.

"Since I had a good teacher I guess," I said while yawning.

As we sat in silence my eyes began to droop. Before I even knew I had fallen asleep, I was back in the cabin with Dimitri. I could feel him, I could smell his sweet scent. My entire body was alive with electricity. He leant down towards me, his lips connected with mine. The taste was unbelievable, it was all my hunger would ever need. I was alive, every one of my senses were heightened. I could see, feel, hear, taste, and smell everything with so much more clarity. The only thing that mattered was him.

I didn't know how long I was out for, but I was woken with a soft shake on my shoulder. My eyes opened lazily to see Dimitri smiling down at me. I stretched and released myself from the blanket as I looked around the plane. Everyone but the twins and I were moving around, and a glance out the window confirmed my suspicions, we had arrived.

"We've landed at court, did you want me to wake the twins?" He asked.

"No, let them sleep, I'll carry them," I said as I stood from my seat, I stumbled slightly on my bad ankle.

"You can't carry both of them, not with your injuries, let me carry one," he offered, a slight smile played on his lips.

I nodded as I moved to where the girls were sleeping peacefully, I knew he was right – unfortunately – I couldn't carry both of them. I gently unwrapped their arms and legs which were tangled around each other. I took Kes in my arms and stepped aside so Dimitri could gather Tia in his. He lifted her with such grace, he truly looked like an angel. Watching him with my daughter – our daughter – made my heart thrum faster inside my chest. This was how it was meant to be, how it should have been for the previous two and a half years. _Don't think like that_, I told myself sternly as I shook the thoughts away.

I moved towards the door of the plane and arrived at the top of a short set of stairs. The cool night breeze ruffled through my hair, it was the moroi day, the moon and stars lit up the dark sky. Winter in Russia was much colder, so the chill in the air barely affected me. I saw a group of people standing off to the right, but I couldn't see their details because of the darkness. I felt his warm hand rest upon my shoulder, it was sending the energy that I needed into my body to continue walking.

"I'm with you Roza, you and the girls are safe here," he whispered close to my ear. "They are here because they want to see you."

"I'm not sure I'm ready Dimitri," I said nervously. "So much has changed in the past three years. I've changed."

"They love you Rose, no matter how much you've changed. And they will adore these little girls." His voice held so much compassion and love.

I slowly descended the stairs, and waited at the bottom for Dimitri. I smiled weakly at him, my nerves were still trying to control my mind and body. Together we started walking towards the group that had gathered. To the left of the group I saw the Belikov's standing with some of the guardians that had been on the flight with us, they were waiting for Dimitri I guessed. As I closed the distance I could see the other faces looking at me. Lissa was there, tightly holding onto Christian's hand. Her emotions were all over the place, but they were mainly pooling towards positive ones. Eddie was standing with Mia, looking quite cozy, which made me happy. I had never seen them together at the academy, but Lissa had been hoping for a while that they would just get their act together. My eyes fell on Adrian, I couldn't help but smile, though he didn't return it. Sadness washed over me, I had definitely done something to hurt him – but I had no idea what. Lastly, my eyes fell on my mother. She hadn't changed a bit since the last time I saw her. Beside her stood a tall, dark haired moroi man. It wasn't her charge, I had seen him before, this moroi was a stranger to me, yet he was eerily familiar.

I shifted Akeso's weight slightly, but not enough to wake her. Lissa took a step forward and I saw Christian strain to keep hold of her hand, but she pulled it free, her wide green eyes remained on me the entire time. A smile spread across her lips, it was the kind of smile I hadn't seen her use since before we were dragged back to the academy. I tried to smile back, but it was weak, I just couldn't find the strength to pull off a full smile. Lissa stepped forward again, but I stayed where I was, for some reason I felt safe next to Dimitri, probably because he had Tia in his arms.

Lissa ran towards me, closing the distance as fast as her legs would carry her. She stopped a foot away from me and fought to catch her breath as her eyes slid down to the child I was holding tight to my chest. She stared for a few minutes, her emotions were going crazy. She couldn't believe I was finally there, standing in front of her, with _two_ children. She didn't want to make the first move, or say the first words, in fear I would run again.

"Hey Liss," I said quietly. "I'm not going anywhere, for now anyway." I tried to ease her fears, though I admit 'for now anyway' probably wasn't going to do the job.

"Oh God Rose." Tear rolled down her delicate cheeks. "I've missed you so much!"

"Shhh Liss, I've missed you too," I said quietly. "They were up for most of the flight here." I nodded towards Kes.

"What are their names?" Lissa asked, her excitement was threatening to explode.

"How about we get to wherever we are staying and settle them in? There's plenty of time for introductions and explanations," I said, I was starting to feel the weight of my daughter. Having a broken wrist wasn't helping either.

Lissa nodded and walked back towards the group. She spoke briefly and then waved us over. _I've warned them not to bombard you with questions or anything_, she said through the bond. I looked at Dimitri, he nodded in answer to my unasked question of whether it was okay. Together we walked towards the group, Lissa shot everyone warning looks as we edged closer. My mother was the first to greet me, and surprisingly enough there was no Janine Hathaway wrath to be seen – or heard. I guessed Lissa's warning was enough to scare even the bravest of people.

"Oh Rose, I'm so glad you're back. I've been so worried," she said as she rubbed my arm gently. "Do you want me to take her?" She asked, but I quickly shook my head. "We'll talk later." It was a warning and I knew it.

Each of the group came forward to say hello, except for the strange moroi man and Adrian. I couldn't find my voice though, I simply nodded my greeting to each of them. I had never felt so uncomfortable in my life, and these were the people I loved.

"You'll be staying at our house," Lissa chirped, barely managing to stay still. "If that's okay with you?" She quickly corrected herself.

"That's fine," I replied softly.

Lissa led us towards a number of cars. I hadn't seen them before then, but there were more than enough to transport everyone there. Lissa directed Dimitri and I to the limo at the front of the line, I slid in carefully as not to wake Kes. Dimitri slid in next, followed closely by Lissa and Christian. I had no idea where everyone else was heading, but if I was being truthful, I really didn't care. I was too tired and too overwhelmed to worry about anything else but my daughters. I knew I would have to wake them soon, it was going to be hard for them to adjust to being awake during the moroi day.

"Kes baby, you need to wake up," I whispered in her ear as the limo started to move.

"But I'm sleepy Mummy," she said as she yawned.

"I know honey, you've haven't had a lot of sleep, but we're at court now, and they run on moroi time here," I explained softly. "Plus Aunty Lissa wants to meet you."

"Do you want Tia woken too?" Dimitri asked.

"Yeah, they need to get used to being up at night while we're here," I told him as I rubbed the back of a very sleepy Akeso.

"Why did we have to come here Mummy?" Kes whined to me. "I want to go home."

I looked at Dimitri with wide eyes. I couldn't tell my daughters that strigoi were after them, but what else could I tell them? Lying to my daughters made me feel sick. But then again so did scaring the crap out of them. To make things even worse, I had a sickening feeling that Tia already knew, which meant soon enough Kes would too.

"Mummy's friends wanted to see her again Kes," Dimitri answered for me as he woke Tia.

"Where are your friends Mummy?" She asked, Kes had always been very inquisitive.

"Well baby, Lissa and Christian are in the car with us. I'm not sure where the others have gone though, but you will get to meet them all soon enough" I told her.

Tia rubbed her eyes sleepily as Kes looked around for Lissa and Christian. Her eyes studied them for a few seconds before she turned her attention back to me.

"He looks scary," Kes said pointing at Christian.

"I couldn't agree more," I said with a slight chuckle. "Lissa, Christian, this is Akeso Demetria Janine." I nodded my head at Kes. "And this is Tiannah Vasilisa Adrianna." I nodded towards Tia, I felt Lissa's joy swirl inside me as she recognised that I had named my daughter after her, though she didn't pick up on the connection to Akeso's name. "Girls this is your Aunty Lissa and Uncle Christian."

"It's nice to finally meet you both," Lissa beamed.

Tia was still in the process of waking up, I could see in her eyes just how tired she was. But it was more than just tiredness, she was worried. A chill ran through me as I considered the possibility of her having another dream. I tried to settle my nerves, there wasn't much I could do until I could speak with her alone.

"Are you okay Tia?" Dimitri asked softly.

Tia simply shook her head and snuggled deeply into his chest. I couldn't help but admire the two of them together. It was the perfect picture – father and daughter together at last. The limo came to a soft stop and I looked at Lissa questioningly. The tint on the windows was much too dark to see out of, but it was a precaution all royal moroi took in case they were traveling during the daylight hours.

"We're home," Lissa offered as an explanation. "I have set up a room for the girls right next to yours Rose. Your bags will be dropped off shortly," she said with such poise.

"Thanks." I said softly, it was barely louder than a whisper.

Lissa and Christian got out of the limo first, followed by Dimitri with Tia and then me with Kes. I moved Kes to my hip as I looked up at the large house standing before us. It was big, much, much bigger than my tiny two bedroom cottage back in Baia. White paneling covered each of the exterior walls. The door and shutters on the windows were my favourite colour, red. There was a gorgeous garden sitting in the middle of the lawn, vibrant blooming flowers flowed out of plants as they circled a pond. A small wooden bridge formed a safe passage over the garden and pond.

Lissa led the way up the path, over the bridge, and continued before coming to two steps that climbed to a large porch. She opened the door with a smile, and I couldn't help but gasp as I walked inside. I walked into a large entrance hall, it was warm but modern, and very expensive. Several arch ways were positioned around the room, leading to various areas of the house – or mansion as far as I saw it. In the middle of the room was a large curved stair case leading up to the next floor.

"Let me show you to your rooms, I'm sure you would like to freshen up," Lissa said with grace, I could tell her training with the Queen had been going well.

Christian disappeared through one of the archways as I started up the stairs after Liss and Dimitri. At the top she turned to the right and walked down the long hallway. She stopped at the second last door on the left and opened in. In the middle of the large room sat a single bed with four tall white posts that held up light pink canopy overhead, a white dresser sat against the left wall, a change table sat off to the right side – though it wouldn't be used by us, my girls were potty trained – and there were toys everywhere. I felt Kes stiffen in my arms, and when I looked at her, her face was lit up like it was Christmas morning.

"You really didn't have to go to so much trouble Liss," I said sheepishly. I felt a little guilty for the trouble she had gone to, especially since I wasn't planning on us staying for too long.

"Oh it's no trouble, I just want you to feel comfortable while you're here." She smiled at me. "I'll organise another bed, I wasn't expecting you to have two babies."

"It's okay Lissa, they can sleep together, please don't stress about it," I said, trying to calm her emotions.

I placed Kes down on the floor, Dimitri followed my lead with Tia. They instantly ran off to a corner filled with toys. I called out for them not to ruin anything as Lissa guided us out of the room. Lissa moved gracefully towards the door next to the one we had just left. She hesitated for a moment before speaking.

"If you don't like it, I will organise for the decorators to come back," She said nervously. "I'll be fixing up the girls room as it is, so please don't think it's any bother."

"Liss, please, just stop, you don't need to do all of this," I said, it almost sounded like a whine.

"Yes I do," She said with a pout as she opened the door.

The room was beyond gorgeous. In the middle of the room sat a four poster king sized bed, adorned with pillows that almost looked more like clouds. The bed side tables, dresser and the desk that were situated around the room all matched the bed, they looked to be made out of sugar maple. In the far corner of the room was a large plasma TV hanging on the wall, a two-seater couch rested in front of it. The colour scheme that worked through the room ranged from tans to browns, with red thrown in as well. It was perfect.

Attached to my room was a walk in wardrobe and an ensuite, though the ensuite was more the size of a main bathroom. It had a shower that was big enough to fit at least four people inside and a beautiful old styled claw footed bathtub. The towel racks were heated – talk about luxury. The tiles that covered the floor and half of the wall were a dark cream, the rest of the walls where the tiles didn't reach were painted in a chocolate brown. The fittings attached to the shower, bathtub and sink were gold – real gold or not, they looked great.

"Do you like it?" Lissa asked as she nervously played with her hands.

"Like it?" I asked incredulously. "I love it Liss, it's absolutely perfect."

I pulled Lissa into my arms and hugged her tightly. I felt her relax, but her thoughts were still going crazy. She was angry at me for leaving, she was confused about why I had two children, and she was over joyed that I was back. I gently rubbed her back before I pulled away, my hands however didn't let go of her shoulders.

"I'm sorry I left without seeing you, I know it was wrong, but at the time it just seemed like the right thing to do." I explained to her.

"I know Rose, but you can't imagine how much I missed you. I got married, but even on my wedding day I couldn't be happy. Because you weren't there." A tear slid down her cheek.

"I know how much you missed me." I tapped my head indicating that the bond was still as strong as ever. "And I missed you too. As for the wedding, I was there Liss, I saw the entire thing. I was so happy for the both of you," I said as I wiped her tear away.

"Really?" She asked in a small voice.

"Of course, I wouldn't have missed your wedding for the world," I told her. "And if I ever get married, you're planning the wedding." I laughed causing her to join in.

"I'll leave you to get settled. Let me know if you need anything." I could feel the relief flooding through her, I was back and she just knew everything was going to work out to be okay. I cringed at the thought that I was going to burst the little bubble that surrounded her, I wasn't at court for a holiday after all.

Lissa left the room, leaving Dimitri and I alone. I looked at him as I sat on the edge of the bed, he seemed at peace. It felt weird being back, but it didn't feel entirely bad. The thing with Adrian was still playing on my mind, I just wished I knew what was up with him. But for the time being, everything felt...okay.

But it didn't feel like home.


	8. Truth

TRUTH

Dimitri sat next to me on the bed, close enough so that our arms and legs brushed slightly, a pulse of electricity constantly raced through my body. It amazed me that after so long apart he still had that effect on me. I knew I should have moved, I should have removed myself from the temptation he created whenever he was near, but I couldn't bring my muscles to work. We sat in silence, though it was a comfortable silence. Dimitri and I had never needed to fill the air with useless chatter, and it seemed like that hadn't changed either. I wasn't looking at him, but I could sense him looking at me, I knew his eyes were on my neck, pointedly, where two marks would have been. I raised my hand to my neck in an involuntary movement, suddenly self-conscious of the wounds that had almost ended my life.

"I should get Kes to heal them," I said slightly embarrassed.

Dimitri didn't reply, he simply brushed my hand away from my neck and gently caressed the bite mark with his own. It felt amazing and I felt myself slipped further under his spell. In that moment three years hadn't passed. I had been with Dimitri every hour of every day. I felt my head move, but it wasn't in the direction that would release me from his touch, I needed to be closer to him.

A knock at the door broke me from the trance I was in and I instantly shied away from Dimitri's touch. He dropped his hand into his lap, but didn't move any further than that. I removed myself from the bed and slowly walked to the door, silently thankful for the disruption. I couldn't let myself slip when it came to Dimitri, there were more pressing situations than what was happening between us. I opened the door to find Adrian standing on the other side, he looked so uncomfortable.

"Can we talk?" he asked softly. "Alone?" He added as he looked directly at Dimitri.

"Sure," I replied equally as soft. "Could you give us a minute Dimitri?" I asked while I still looking at Adrian.

Dimitri got off the bed and walked over to me. "I'll be in with the twins," he whispered into my ear before walking out of the room without looking back.

I walked back to the bed and sat with my legs crossed. I watched every forced movement Adrian made, I had never seen him so detached before. He closed the door softly behind him and walked towards me, stopping just shy of the bed. He didn't say anything, he just watched me, his glare caused me to fidget nervously.

"I'm sorry I stopped all contact with you Rose," he said, dropping his eyes to the floor as if he was ashamed.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, guilt laced my voice.

"Not at all. I had this strange feeling that our contact was no longer safe," he explained. "I felt the dreams were being monitored, as were my e-mails. I…I know most people would think it was just paranoia from spirit side effects, but I knew it wasn't. A couple of weeks after I stopped talking with you I found out why I might have been feeling that way."

"Why?" I asked in a whisper, I felt like I was being told a ghost story, all that was missing was a camp fire.

"I heard that Victor Dashkov had escaped from his prison cell in Tarasov." A gasp escaped my lips as they opened in shock. "No one has any idea how he did it, the guards claimed that he was there, then he was gone," he said, his voice was barely a whisper. "To me it's just screaming that a spirit user was involved."

"Oh God," I choked out. My body was trembling slightly as fear pulsated through me, though it wasn't so much fear for myself. "Does Liss know?"

I knew what Victor Dashkov was capable of doing, I could never wipe away the images of the torture Lissa had to endure because of him – both physically and emotionally. He was a conniving bastard when it came to getting what he wanted. Somehow he had managed to get out of the highest security prison, a prison that had a secret location and everything. I took a deep breath as I tried to figure out what it could possibly all mean. Was he still after Lissa, or could he have been behind the attacks we'd faced in Baia? Truthfully it could have been either or both, and either way, I knew he had to be stopped. Yeva's words echoes in my head _you know the one who wants, child_, and suddenly there was no more confusion. Yes he might have wanted Lissa is he was still a sick Moroi, but the chances of that were slim to none, especially if he had another spirit user by his side.

"We've managed to keep it from Lissa for now," he said softly. "I had to stop coming into your dreams, and I set up my e-mail account so that it would instantly delete any e-mail you sent." He sat on the bed beside me, but he was still keeping his distance. "I'm so sorry Rose…but I did something you will probably hate me for, but it was the only way I could protect you."

"What did you do?" I asked, I could barely recognise my own voice, it wasn't that I was angry with Adrian, I just couldn't stop myself thinking about Victor and what he wanted.

"I used one of your old e-mails to track where you were, using that I could only get the towns name, but it was something at least. Please understand that I needed you to be found by us, before they could get to you. I felt awful for doing it little dhampir, but once I had all the information I was going to get, I called Belikov and let him know." He hung his head in shame. I knew he had probably tried to trace the credit card he had given me, but I hadn't used it, I only lived on the cash he had given me before I had left.

"You did the right thing Adrian," I said as I took his hand in mine. "We were being hunter by strigoi. I was almost killed the last night we spent there," I continued before moving my hair away from my neck.

Adrian gasped at the sight of the bite marks. Without a word he lifted his hand to my neck, and I felt the warm glow of spirit healing the wounds. It wasn't like Lissa's, it was like Adrian had his own signature on his healing. After he was done I ran my fingers along where the bite mark had been, all that remained were two slightly raised bumps.

"My healing isn't the best, so it left a bit of a scar," he said sheepishly.

"It's better than two gaping wounds," I laughed. "Thanks."

"Anything for you little dhampir," he said as he kissed the top of my hand. "So what's going on with you and the cradle robber?" he asked as a slight smile began to show on his lips.

"Don't call him that," I said playfully slapping him on the arm. "I wish I knew. I still love him so much Adrian, but I'm so scared that something will go wrong and this time he'll hurt more than just me." I sighed. "He believes they're his kids, he saved my life too," I explained with a slight shrug.

"You wouldn't have needed saving if he hadn't been such an ass to begin with." His distaste was strong in his voice.

"That's not exactly true Adrian, if I'd stayed I probably would have been dead before the twins were born," I told him softly.

"What the hell do you mean?" he demanded.

I had never told him about what had happened while I was pregnant, it wasn't really something I liked to talk about, but I explained it all to him then. I told him about the research I had done about multiple births in the moroi and dhampir communities, and how I had only been able to find information about one case of it ever happening. He visibly shuddered when I told him the outcome for that mother and her unborn children. I explained to him how it had very nearly ended the same way for me, but I had been lucky. I told him about Oksana and how she had known exactly what needed to be done to that we would all live, and I told him that it wasn't nearly as simple as just healing me. I still didn't fully understand what she had done during that time, she had tried to explain it to me a few times, but it was beyond complicated. It was all about changing something in me to allow the pregnancy to continue. By the end of my explanation Adrian was rendered speechless. His face was faintly creased with worry and his mouth slightly hung open.

"Wow," he managed to say.

"So while I'm not running out to thank him for the way he treated me, it worked out for the best in the end," I told him softly.

I wanted desperately to tell Adrian about what the twins could do, but I just wasn't sure if I could trust him – or anyone. He had told Dimitri where I was in order to protect me, but there was a feeling inside of me that demanded that I wait. As much as I might have hated to admit it, Dimitri was back in the picture, and it was something I should have talked to him about first.

"Do you want to know what I saw in his aura?" Adrian asked softly.

"Um, okay," I replied nervously.

"When he whispered into your ear there was nothing but love and adoration there, and as he walked away it was like something was missing. Little dhampir, he loves you, and when you're not right next to him he is missing a part of himself," Adrian explained, he might not have liked Dimitri, but I knew he would never lie to me about something like that.

"I feel the same way too," I said softly. "It was the hurt I held onto that kept me from running back to him after the twins were born."

"The twins need to know who he is," Adrian said, going slightly off topic.

After a while Adrian left, telling me he had things to do. I couldn't have hidden my relief if I had wanted to. I had been so sure I must have done something to hurt him, but I didn't, nor had he done anything I could hate him for, he had done the right thing. I left my room and went to see the twins, and Dimitri, since he said that's where he would be. I opened the door to find all three of them sitting on the floor. Tia was curled up in Dimitri's lap, Kes was leaning eagerly against his leg. He was reading to them, although there was really no need, they could already read by themselves, but they weren't complaining. It was a picture perfect moment, but of course I didn't have a camera on me. I leant against the door frame and watched them, drinking in the sight of my babies with their father, saving the moment to memory. After Dimitri closed the book Kes looked up at me, her little face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Mummy!" she squealed as she ran towards me. I caught her as she jumped into my arms.

"Hello baby girl, are you having fun?" I asked her before kissing her softly on the forehead.

"Yeah! Dimitri was just reading to us. Tia was scared because of a dream, so he was trying to calm her down," Kes explained.

"Are you okay now Tia?" I asked softly, she shook her head in reply. "Do you want to talk about it baby?"

"No Mummy," she replied quietly, snuggling closer to Dimitri.

There were times that she got like this, and there wasn't much I could do about it. I knew she would talk to me when she was ready to, I just needed to wait for that time. Till then I knew I would stress, I had no idea what the dream was about, but for her to shut down like she had I knew it wasn't a nice one.

"Do you know who Dimitri is girls?" I asked with caution. Adrian had told me they needed to know who he was, deep down I knew he was right, but I was nervous. What if they didn't take to him? What if they hated what he had done to me? But from the look on Dimitri's face I could see he was ready, no matter what their reaction would be.

"He said he was your mentor at the academy," Kes told me as she played with my hair.

"Yes he was my mentor, but I also fell in love with him," I said wistfully. My eyes met Dimitri's and I could see nothing but peace there. "He taught me many things, but the main thing he taught me was to love," I said, more to Dimitri than to the girls.

"But why did you leave him Mummy?" Kes asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

"I got scared baby. I found out I was pregnant with you and Tia, and I didn't know what to do, so I ran away," I explained as a tear slipped from my eye.

"Are you scared now?" she asked softly as she wiped my tear away.

"Yes, but for different reasons," I said while looking at Dimitri. In that moment so many things clicked into place. I knew of course that Dimitri was the love of my life, he always had been, he always would be. The way he looked at me told me everything I needed to know, it told me he would never leave his daughters willingly, even if things didn't work out between us. "You know what I think girls?" I said as I walked towards where Dimitri was with Tia in his lap, I put Kes down next to them.

"What Mummy?" they asked at the same time, Tia didn't have the enthusiasm that Kes did though.

"I think it's time you knew your Daddy," I said, my eyes remained on Dimitri. A smile lit up on his face, _thank you_, he mouthed to me, but I wasn't doing it just for him, I was going it for the girls, I was doing it for me. It felt like the first step I needed to take, and although I was nervous as hell, it was something I needed to do.

Kes looked from me to Dimitri and back again, but Tia simply smiled a knowing smile in my direction. I could see Kes's thoughts ticking away as her eyes became wide, I could pin point when the realisation hit her, and I wondered how much the bond played in Kes working it out, it was obvious that Tia already knew. Kes froze as she looked at Dimitri, her eyes flicked towards Tia briefly, as though she finally saw the similarities.

"You're our Daddy?" Kes asked in wonder.

Dimitri nodded, I wasn't sure he could actually speak. His guardian mask was nowhere to be seen, his face showed a river of emotions. I had pictured this moment many times before, I had fantasised about what it would be like, but my imagination had done it no justice. The looks on my daughters faces were what I could only describe as being the faces of Angels. They both looked at Dimitri with such wonder, amazement and love. They had never had a male in their lives before. It had only even been me and the rest of the Belikov's. I could see there was a light in their eyes, one I had never seen before, it was shining so bright that it could have lit up the entire room. The final piece of their puzzle had been put into place.

"Why Mummy?" Kes demanded, breaking the stillness in the room. Her eyes reflected the anger on her face as she looked at me. "Why are we only just meeting him now?"

My heart broke with her words, the tone of her voice ripped through me like a chainsaw. I flinched involuntarily. She looked at me with so much anger, and if I didn't know better I would have taken it as hate. They were so young and yet so wise – too wise for their age. I hated that they hadn't known their father, I desperately wished I could turn back time and make things right. But I couldn't.

"It's not her fault Kesy," Tia told her. "I know what happened, I dreamed it." Her voice was soft, but it held truth.

"Your dreams are dumb," Kes snapped.

"Akeso Demetria Janine Hathaway!" I scolded. "You can be angry with me, but you never, and I mean _never_, talk to your sister like that!" My voice was raised and shaking.

"I am angry at you Mummy! It's your fault I never knew my Daddy. I love him more than I love you," she said angrily.

I stared at her in complete shock. I had prepared myself for them not accepting Dimitri, not the other way around. Akeso's words bit through me like a blizzard had set in. My hands trembled, my legs shook. I felt like at any moment I would become a crumpled heap on the floor. She was so much like me it scared me at times. Her temper got the better of her a lot, just like it did in that moment. Anger visibly radiated out of her body.

"When you've calmed down and want to know the truth about what happened between me and your Daddy, Kes, you come and find me." My voice was so calm it almost scared me. "And don't let me hear you talk to your sister like that ever again."

I turned and immediately left the room. I knew if I stayed in there any longer I would lose my temper more than I already had, and it would turn into a war between two very strong willed personalities. I walked back into my room to find the two suit cases had been left by my bed. I picked up the one which contained the twins clothes and toys and left it outside their room. Once back in my room I closed and locked the door behind me, I needed to calm down and I couldn't do that with anyone else around. I opened my suitcase and saw my work our gear resting on top of the pile. I pulled out the pair of short shorts and a sports bra. I quickly changed, the best way to work through my anger was to beat the shit out of something – a punching bag seemed like my safest option. I pulled on my runners and tied my long hair back into a tight ponytail.

Before I left the house I found Lissa. I at least needed my wrist healed before I went. It had been broken by the strigoi, and laying into a punching bag would only serve to make it much worse. Lissa was curled up on the couch in what looked to be a sitting room. Two large beige three-seater sofas sat in the room opposite each other, a coffee table separating them. Heavy wooden bookshelves lined the back wall, they were adorned with what was probably thousands of books. In all the room was warm and inviting. Lissa's attention was on a book, and as I looked over her shoulder I saw it was a pregnancy book. She obviously wanted to get a head start on the information, she wasn't even showing.

"Liss, would you be able to heal my wrist?" I asked, she jumped at the sound of my voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh, it's okay, she said sitting up before patting the cushion next to her. "What happened to it?"

"Snapped by strigoi," I told her dryly, her eyes widened in shock. "It's a long story."

Lissa gently placed her hands on my unstrapped wrist, sending the familiar warm sensation into it. As many times as I had been healed by spirit, I still couldn't get used to the feeling. It was hard to explain. After a minute Lissa pulled her hands away from my wrist, it was no longer bruised and it was sitting straight again – the strigoi had left it slightly askew. I moved my wrist up and down and to each side. There was no pain, it was just a little stuff from being bandaged. Next Lissa moved to my sprained ankle, I hadn't told her it was hurt, she must have sensed it as she healed my wrist – or I hadn't hid my limp as well as I had thought. Thirty seconds later it was no longer swollen, the bandage hung loosely above my shoe.

"Where are you off to?" she asked as she picked up her book again.

"The gym. A very unfortunate punching bag is about to feel my wrath," I said with a slight laugh.

Lissa smiled, though her heart wasn't in it. She had been hoping we would talk, there was so much she needed to know. She still didn't know who the father of my first child was – she didn't know I'd had twins, though she recognised they looked a lot alike – and she wanted to know how I feel pregnant straight after giving birth. She was thinking I was overly fertile – and that made me laugh internally. She couldn't figure out how my daughters looked so alike, she figured they had to have different fathers, but she could see the girls were pretty much identical.

"We'll talk Liss. I promise I'm not trying to avoid you or anything. I just need to get rid of some of this anger," I told her as I pulled her into a hug.

As I stepped out of the house I breathed deeply. I air was cool but refreshing, and it helped my mind to slow down – even if it was only a minor difference. There were a few gyms on court, it made it easier for guardians to reach them no matter where they were. Lucky for me there was one not far from where Lissa's house was, which was perfect. To make things even better I had the whole place to myself. The floor of the gym was wooden, old and worn, the walls were pained a plain, lifeless grey. To the left there was a number of weight machines set up, and some of them looked way too complicated for me. Ahead of the main door were several mats lining the back wall – sparring mats. Off to the right was where the punching bags were, and that was where I headed. I took the bag that was furthest from the door, I hoped to limit any interruptions – I hoped the building would remain empty apart from me.

I started with a simple rotation – jab, jab, dodge – and worked myself up as my muscled became warmer. I started moving faster and harder, losing myself in the thrill of the work out. My body felt more alive than it had in a long time. In Baia my work outs had consisted of jogging with a twin pram, sit-ups and push-ups. There was no gym in the town, so I made do with what I had – which wasn't nearly enough. I kept on top of my fitness though, I had to in order to keep my daughters safe from any strigoi that wandered into the town. To look at me you wouldn't believe that I had been pregnant, especially with twins, though the thanks for that went to Oksana. She had healed me after the twins were born.

I was so lost in beating the crap out of the punching bag that I didn't hear anyone enter the gym. I had positioned myself so my back was towards the door, and every piece of my energy was focused on the way my body was moving, the way the bag reacted under my hits. So it was no wonder that I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard his voice behind me.

"Roza," he breathed, the word was like music rolling off his tongue.

"Oh shit, you scared me Dimitri," I gasped as I turned to face him.

"Sorry," he said with a smile playing on his lips. "I had almost forgotten how beautiful you look when you're working out."

"I'm sorry I left, I needed to calm down, and I need to get my head straight before I can go back," I told him as I turned my attention back to the bag. "I'm also sorry you had to witness Kes at her finest."

"Take a break," he said resting his hand on my shoulder. "So we can talk."

I took a deep breath – trying my hardest to ignore the electricity racing from his hand into me – before I turned back to face him. "Who's looking after the girls?"

"Lissa," he replied. "She was more than happy to." I quickly checked the bond to ensure the girls were okay. It wasn't that I didn't trust Lissa to look after them, but I still had to check.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" I asked after sitting down on the floor with my legs crossed.

"Well, firstly I'd like to thank you for telling the girls who I am." He sat down beside me.

"They should have known a long time again." I shrugged. "I just wish Kes had handled it a little better. I don't blame her for being angry with me, I deserve it. Her temper just runs wild at times."

"Just like yours," he said with a chuckle before turning serious again. "I talked to her after you left. I explained that I hadn't believed you when you told me you were pregnant. I told her that I hurt you, and you found it really hard to forgive me," he said softly. "I think she understands now."

"It doesn't matter, she'll still be angry with me, I know what she's like," I said, my head rested in my hands as I tried to control the tears that threatened to explode. "Yes I left, but I should have come back after they were born. You should have been in their lives, Dimitri."

"Roza stop. You can't keep blaming yourself like this. Everything happened the way it was meant to, you've said that yourself. I don't blame you Roza, and you shouldn't blame yourself either."

Dimitri slipped his warm, strong hand under my chin and gently lifted it as to guide my eyes to meet his. I couldn't help but stare into his beautiful brown eyes. They offered protection, they showed love, and I let myself sink deeper into the trance. I couldn't look away, I was completely stuck. The truth was, I didn't want to look away, but I knew I had to. I was fast losing my grip on reality. Forgiveness seemed to have already been given, but there was a voice deep inside telling me to stop, to pull away. I tried to listen to it, but before I could even consider pulling away his lips crashed onto mine. They were smooth but urgent, seeking something that had been missing for too long. I returned the kiss, my tongue flicked at his lips, pleading for entry, which he granted immediately.

With ease Dimitri pulled me to him, and I instantly melted into his arms. I wrapped one hand around his neck, while the other secured itself in his hair. Dimitri ran his hands up and down my back softly, the jolts of electricity caused my body to spasm closer to him. Neither of us came up for air, air wasn't needed, we were living completely off each other.

His lips left mine, leaving them feeling cold and alone. He rested his forehead against mine, he held my face in his hands.

"I love you so much Roza," he said softly, his words brought with them the realisation of what had just happened.


	9. Explanations

EXPLANATIONS

I sat at the head of the table, all eyes were solely focused on me. The attention was a little overwhelming, I fidgeted nervously as I tried to gather my words. It was the day I had been dreading, the day I would tell the people I loved exactly why I had fled Baia, and why I had come to court. I couldn't help but feel guilty, I was about to tangle each and every one of the people in the lavish dining room into the web of disaster I once again found myself in. Fact was, wherever I wandered, danger wasn't far behind. Sure it wasn't me in immediate danger this time, but I might as well have been. I wasn't about to let anything and anyone get close enough to hurt my daughters. I would fight for them, no matter what it cost me. But could I really expect the people who sat – and stood – around me to do the same?

It had been four days since I had arrived at court, four days since that stolen kiss in the gym and two days since Kes calmed down enough to talk to me and apologise properly to her sister. Yes, she was definitely like me, her grudge holding wasn't as strong as mine though – yet. She still wasn't impressed by the situation though, and no, I couldn't blame her for that. She found it especially hard because Tia had known the truth, but somehow her sister had managed to hide it from her. Like me, Kes didn't like to be the last one to know anything, particularly when it directly related to her in some way. But in the end I explained to her why everything had happened the way it did, I told her I was sorry for making her feel so angry, and eventually she threw herself into my arms and cried while I sang her a Russian lullaby to help calm her down.

My thoughts wandered as I sat there, avoiding the coming conversation like the plague. And of course my thoughts stopped and lingered on 'the kiss' I had shared with Dimitri in the gym. It had been wonderful, but terrifying at the same time. His lips were just as I remembered them, his gentle touch was unbelievable, and it was no wonder I had lost myself in the moment with him. The one thing I wish I could have changed was my reaction after the kiss. I had instantly removed myself from Dimitri's hold as his words echoed in my head. I shakily stepped away from him as though he was some contagious leper that was trying to infect me. His eyes flashed with pain, and I my heart longed to return to his arms, but it was my head that was in control, demanding that I remove myself, telling me it would only end up causing me pain. In the days that had passed I had only spoken to him once, and the conversation had been rather forced, at least on my side. I told him I had decided to tell my friends – my family – about the situation, he had agreed and I knew he wanted to talk more, but I walked away, leaving him dumbfounded behind me. I didn't stop the girls from seeing him, I could never do that to any of them, but I just couldn't be around him without having an unwanted urge to jump into bed with him. I honestly felt like I was seventeen again, my hormones were acting that way anyway.

What I hadn't told Dimitri was the reason I had decided to tell everyone. I was opposed to telling anyone else about their gifts and the fact that the strigoi were after them, but I had received a note from Yeva. I knew better than to discard what she told me, no matter how cryptic it might sound. Her words had pierced through me and then settled with resolve as I knew what had to be done. _Those who care must know what to prepare for. If not the loss will be greater than you could ever imagine, child. _

I had talked to Lissa a couple of days before. I had told her about the girls, and who their father was. I stumbled my way through explaining what had happened while I had been pregnant. In the end she was relieved to finally know everything, but she didn't. I couldn't bring myself to tell her about Victor. Just thinking about him caused me to flash back to the time he had kidnapped her, and I couldn't begin to imagine what it would do to her. I knew she would find out soon enough, but I couldn't burst her safe little bubble just yet. We were both trying to be the friends we had been before I left, but it took effort on both our parts. I hadn't expected it to be easy so much, I guess I had wished it though. It was a work in progress, a work both of us were willing to continue with. Neither of us would ever give up on each other.

Around the table sat Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Mia, Adrian, my mother and Dimitri. Dimitri stared at me from the other end of the table, Lissa held my hand tightly, sending reassuring messages through the bond. Around the table stood the entire Belikov family – minus the children who were playing with the twins in their room – and the strange moroi man, my mother had insisted I could trust him. A nervous air filled the room, everyone was waiting for me to start, while all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and forget everything that had happened and was going to happen. My hand shook in Lissa's, my legs wouldn't stay still as they bumped up and down rapidly. I felt like I was back in school again, sitting in Kirova's office waiting for one her many lectures of how reckless my behaviour was.

"Before I start, I need everyone to understand the importance of keeping this to yourselves," I said in a volume that everyone could hear. "The lives of my daughters will be on the line if any of this information gets out." I struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to consume me.

"We promise you Roza, none of us will say a word," Olena said, speaking for her family.

Although I hadn't seen any of the Belikov's since arriving at court, I knew Sonya and Karolina still weren't happy with me. I could see it, the way they looked at me, the way they whispered to each other while still glaring at me. I could understand their anger and frustration, but acting like they were ten wasn't going to help anything or anyone.

"No one will say a word Rose," Lissa said with a slight squeeze of my hand, I knew she had sprayed compulsion into her words, but honestly it didn't bother me so much. My focus was on my daughters.

"God, I don't know where to start," I said as frustration started to take hold of me.

"From the beginning might help," Christian stated in his snarkiest of tones, though he quickly recoiled back into his seat as he saw the look on Lissa's face, it was murderous.

I hadn't seen much of Christian since we had arrived, he was always 'busy' as Lissa liked to tell me. But I knew he was avoiding me. He was pissed at me for hurting Lissa, he was pissed at Lissa for accepting me back so easily. Maybe after I told them what was happening he'd understand, but really I didn't hold out much hope of that happening. I had been sucked into Lissa's head the day after I had arrived, her emotions were in overdrive and didn't have my defences up at the time. She was arguing with Christian, and of course the topic was me. I knew I should have pulled myself out, I was intruding on what was meant to be a private argument, but I was too curious to do that. He was yelling at her that I wasn't to be trusted, he knew something was up with me and I was just pulling her into the depths of the hole I had once again dug myself into. In his anger he brought up Spokane, and I instantly felt like a dagger had been pushed through my wounded heart. He blamed me for what happened there, God knows I blamed myself for what happened there. But hearing his spiteful words only made it worse. Lissa had been at a loss for words and tears streamed down her face. She never knew Christian could feel such a way for someone she loved so much, but I understood, that of course didn't mean I liked it.

"I left the academy after I found out I was pregnant, and I went to a small town in Russia," I started, knowing most of the people there already knew that part. "I was lost and alone and was taken in by some of the most loving people I have ever met. They helped me through my pregnancy and beyond, I don't think I would have made it without them. I had a hard pregnancy, much harder than any other dhampir or moroi would experience, and that was solely because I was pregnant with twins." A chorus of gasps surrounded the dining table, though most of the people present already knew the fact, the ones that didn't – including my mother – were shocked. "There was a spirit user in the town, and she was the only reason the girls and I are alive today."

"You had twins?" my mother asked incredulously. She seemed totally stuck on that fact, though I could understand why. I hadn't seen my mother since I had left the tarmac, and the only glimpse of the girls she'd had was while they were asleep in the arms of their parents. "That's unheard of!"

"There's been one other recorded case of it happening, but that mother and her unborn children weren't as lucky as I was." I said unwilling to recap exactly what had happened to that mother. I hadn't told anyone what I had read in the file I had uncovered. The details were shocking and I wasn't sure I could ever bring myself to tell anyone what I had learnt.

"Oksana knew what needed to be done to save Roza and her babies," Olena chimed in. "She worked in partnership with Roza's doctors and myself."

Silence fill the room as my friends grasped the idea of me having twins and almost dying without them even knowing it was happening. Sadness flashed through Dimitri's eyes, though I ignored it as much as I could. I saw my mother open her mouth to say something, but either she thought better of it, or she couldn't bring herself to say it. Her guardian mask was in place, but it wasn't nearly as good as the one Dimitri pulled off. Hers had flaws, and I could see the internal struggle she was facing. She wasn't sure whether she should scold me for what I had done or hug me like most mothers would do.

"After the girls were born I settled into life in Baia, but things started to change. I noticed my girls weren't the same as other dhampir children in the town. They didn't crawl so much, they walked, and at a young age. They are much smaller too, although they eat a lot." I explained, though it was getting hard. I tried desperately to ignore the voice screaming at me to stop. The voice that told me I needed to protect my daughters, and telling anyone what they could do would not help them. "They can already speak fluently in Russian and English, and can speak better than most people I knew."

"I noticed that when I watched them a few days ago," Lissa said softly. "I was amazed that at two and a half they were already so advanced."

I nodded at Lissa's observation, agreeing with her amazement. My daughters still amazed me.

"Who is their father?" my mother asked, it definitely wasn't a question I wanted to answer while she was sitting next to Dimitri.

"Um, well it was someone from the academy," I said nervously as multiple sets of eyes bore into me.

"We know that, but who?" my mother pushed.

"Janine, when Rose tells you the answer, you won't act erratically, or take your anger out on anyone in this room, including Rose," Lissa said, compulsion was thick in her voice as she looked my mother in the eyes.

My mother nodded once, which wasn't nearly enough for me to believe the compulsion had worked, but I told them anyway. "The father…is…um…well," I stuttered, unable to control the words that came out of my mouth. I stole a panicked look at Dimitri who simply nodded to me. "The twins' father is Dimitri."

The look on his sisters' faces was priceless. Viktoria was confused, but I could see her eyes go wide as she realised that meant she was an Aunt to my girls. Sonya and Karolina looked like they could murder someone, and I figured they would aim their weapons in my direction. They looked at each other, sharing silent words, then looked at Dimitri – who didn't say a word – and finally at me.

"She's lying," Karolina demanded.

"No she is not!" Dimitri's voice boomed through the room. "They are my children. I was an idiot three years ago when I didn't believe her, and I'm not making that same mistake again. And anyway, are you blind Karolina? Have you not looked at Tia, she has our families eyes!"

Karolina shrunk back into herself, obviously fearing another outburst from her brother. And I couldn't blame her for that, he sent shock cursing through my body with his tone and words. But he had defended me, he had defended me from his family – well his sister anyway. My heart fluttered, but I ignored it and instead looked at my mother who had been uncharacteristically quiet since I had revealed I had slept with my mentor.

"Mum?" I asked softly, her eyes snapped onto me.

"You slept with your mentor?" she asked me, I nodded in reply. "You slept with my daughter?" she asked, peering at Dimitri with disgust, he nodded. "Well, I…I don't know what to say, I want to kill you of course," she said bluntly causing several people to chuckle, except Dimitri and me.

"We were in love, he didn't take advantage of me, I wanted it mum, and if I could turn back time and do it all over, I'd still make the same choice," I said with conviction in my voice.

"You _were_ in love? So you're not anymore?" my mother asked, of course she would pick up on that part.

I look at Dimitri, I searched his eyes for an easy answer, but there was no easy answer, it was complicated.

"That's a grey area at the moment, mum. We're still trying to sort things out."

"You knew who we were!" Sonya said angrily. "Because our brother got rid of you, you just came to infect his family."

"I…I didn't know! I swear to you all I didn't know you were his family until a few days ago" I pleaded for them to understand.

"Sure you didn't! How else did you know about Baia? You came looking for us," Sonya claimed bitterly.

Lissa squeezed my hand tightly, but it wasn't enough to stop the thoughts penetrating my head. They really thought I was that manipulative. Yes I knew his family lived in Baia, but I never went there to seek them out.

"I had nowhere else to go," I said weakly as a tear slid down my cheek, I quickly wiped it away. I hated being weak, but at that point it was all I could manage. "Yes I knew his family lived there, but I didn't go to Baia to seek you out. I went there because it was the only place I knew of where I might belong. I was seventeen and pregnant, I was scared and I knew Lissa would look for me. I didn't want to be found." My words came out as a mirror image to the thoughts that were broken and swirling inside my head.

"Sonya, keep your mouth shut," Dimitri growled protectively. "I would have thought you and Karolina would be the first to understand Rose's situation, but I guess I was wrong. This is petty name calling I would expect from the children."

"And what is Rose's situation? All we know is that we had to pack up everything because some strigoi wanted her."

"They want my children!" I screamed. "They don't want me, if they did I could accept that, but they don't! They want the two things in this world that has kept me going."

Tear slid freely down my cheeks as everyone let the shock of my words settle in. I had just said the four words I didn't even want to believe myself. _They want my children_, if it was only me they wanted, I could face that. But they wanted my babies. They wanted to strip me of the two people in this world I could never live without. I knew that if I ever lost either one of my daughters that I would no longer be able to function. I shuddered as images flooded my head. Showing me things I never wanted to see, never wanted to feel. Lissa moved to my side, instantly protecting me from the people around me, but they weren't the ones doing the damage. Dimitri moved to my other side, kneeling down so he was level with me. He gently moved the hair away from my face, and caressed my cheek. His touch held the love I knew he felt, and the protectiveness that mirrored Lissa's. He lifted his head away from me and glared at his sisters.

"The last night Roza was in Baia she was almost killed by a strigoi willing to turn her so he could take her children," Dimitri said angrily, though I wasn't sure if it was directed at his sisters or at the strigoi who had tried to turn me. "That's why she was injured on the plane, and I know you saw the injuries, I know you bitched about them to Karolina when you thought no one else was listening. Roza almost died while she was desperately trying to protect her daughters, while unarmed."

A shiver ran through my body as I remembered – in detail – the fight Dimitri was talking about. I could still feel his fangs cutting deeply into my neck, I vividly remembered the now sickening sensation of the endorphins hitting my system. My hand went to my neck, seeking the two slightly raised bumps that served as my reminder, a reminder of how close I had come to losing everything. No words could ever express the sickness I felt when thought of what could have been if Dimitri hadn't been there, if he hadn't made it in time to save me.

"You're angry, I get that, but don't focus your blame on someone who doesn't deserve it," Dimitri said in a much softer tone. "You know what the saddest thing of all is? If the roles were reversed and it was you that had strigoi after you, I know without a doubt that Roza would help you. She wouldn't bitch behind your backs', she wouldn't mope around and think you were the worst person in the world. She would do anything in her power to help you."

"Do you know why the strigoi after the twins?" Olena asked.

I looked at Dimitri and he nodded softly. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and took a long, deep breath. Not that it did anything to calm me. My emotions had obviously decided to go white water rafting over the worst rapids in the world. If they had of asked me, I would have told them to not take me along for the ride.

"The girls…have gifts," I said softly, taking Dimitri's hand in my free one, needing the strength he always offered. Lissa was still holding tightly onto my other hand.

"Gifts?" Olena asked in shock.

"Spirit like gifts," I explained without emotion. "Tia has dreams of the future, and one hundred percent of the ones she's told me about have come true at some stage. She told me the day Olena knocked on my door with Dimitri that we would be going to court." I took a deep breath, trying to settle my nerves. "She also dreams of things from the past, she knew Dimitri was their father."

"And Kes?" my mother asked impatiently.

I looked at the ceiling, praying it might open up and swallow me, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. It still felt wrong to be telling so many people about what my daughters could do, but there was no other choice. Yeva had made it clear they had to know, otherwise I was set to lose more than just my children.

"Kes can heal," I said once I was sure my voice wouldn't falter. "Only minor injuries, but I know it's growing," I explained. "They also have their own bond, one that works both ways. They have never really explained it to me, so I don't know if they hear thoughts or feel emotions, or if they can just talk to each other.

Silence encased the room as tension set in. No one seemed to know what to say, and I was sure no one had expected to learn what they had. Dimitri smoothed down my hair and moved some away that was lingering over my face. I looked at him sadly, wondering what I had just brought all of these people – the people I had always loved – into. Lissa still held onto my hand tightly, and she was trying to keep her thoughts and emotions quiet. She knew I was upset and she didn't want to do anything that might make me feel worse. Christian was now looking like a stunned mullet, and that looked seemed to be catching. Mia and Eddie kept looking at each other, dread had slipped over their features.

"So strigoi are after the twins?" Christian asked as if he was still trying to grasp what he had learnt.

"Yes, they were attacking while Roza was in Baia, at one stage she had them knock on her door," Olena explained, I was thankful since I wasn't sure I could find my voice.

"So what do we do about it then?" he questioned again.

"I think we take a break for now," Dimitri offered. "Maybe we can all meet again tomorrow to work out plans of attack."

I slowly nodded my head in reply to his request. I was much too worn to even contemplate thinking about anything else right now. And I sure as hell wasn't ready to speak about who Adrian and I thought might have been behind the attacks. I knew Lissa would break the moment Victor's name was mentioned, and I wasn't strong enough for her stampede of emotions to hit. _So selfish_, I told myself, but I knew it was also for her benefit. She needed me to be strong the moment she found out the truth, and at that point as I sat silent at the table, surrounded by people who loved me, I was anything but strong.

People began to file out of the room, patting my shoulder in what I was sure was meant to be a comforting way, as they walked past. I didn't look at them though, I stared blankly straight ahead as I tried to find the strength I knew was buried deep inside me. Sonya and Karolina lingered behind, waiting for everyone to leave the room, though I guess it became apparent to them that Lissa and Dimitri weren't going anywhere. Slowly they walked up to me, each of them looking like they had just been told they were about to die. Though I guessed that might have been the case, in the near future any – or all – of us could be dead. They looked nervously at Dimitri, then at me.

"We're sorry Roza," Karolina said softly. "We should never have acted that way towards you, it was immature, and we're so sorry."

"It's fine," I shrugged weakly.

"No, it's not," Sonya said. "Those little girls of yours have always been like family to us, and well, now they are family to us. We will protect them Roza."

I didn't reply, though it wasn't because I didn't forgive them. It was more so because I didn't know what to say. They both had children of their own to care for, I wasn't about to let them risk their lives to save mine. Family or not, it was wrong. Dimitri pulled me to him, and I let myself fall willingly into his arms. His embrace offered the support I needed in that moment to get through the thoughts that were still crowding my head. He picked me up and slowly walked out the room, pausing briefly to talk to Lissa.

"I'm going to take Roza to her room, she needs to rest," he said softly. "Would you mind watching the girls?"

"Of course not," Lissa replied, I could hear the small smile in her voice.

Dimitri carried me up the stairs and into my room, placing me gently onto the bed. I wanted to fight against him, I wanted to tell him I could walk, but I didn't. I had known what was coming, I knew everything before I had told everyone. But it was as if telling everyone suddenly made it real. It was like I had only been dreaming before, but now everything had snapped into reality and I was fighting to catch up. I was scared and I felt alone, even though I had people surrounding me, even though I was in Dimitri's warm arms.

Dimitri tucked the blankets around me, brushed the stray hairs away from my face and turned to leave. A panic rose inside me as I watched him walk towards the door.

"Stay," I said quietly, it wasn't a question, it was a plea. "Please."

He hesitated at the door, seeming to consider something. But eventually he turned around and walked back to the bed. A small smile formed on his lips as he looked down on me. I tried to smile back, but it only caused more tears to fall.

The pain inside came from everything that had ever happened, everything I had pushed to the back of my mind was coming to the front with full force. Mason, Dimitri's heartbreaking words, leaving Lissa, almost dying during my pregnancy, the thought of losing my beautiful daughters, the thought of losing anyone that I cared about…not telling Dimitri that I still loved him.

I had finally found my breaking point, and I wasn't sure I could ever recover from that.


	10. Forgiveness

A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter posted. I've just started studying again and that's taking up a lot of time. Thanks to everyone who has left reviews, I love reading them!

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><p>FORGIVENESS<p>

I woke up to find pressure pushing down on my waist. It was by no means hurting me, but it was unfamiliar, fortunately before I could begin to panic realisation kicked in. I had asked Dimitri to stay, and he had obliged. I vividly remembered watching him slide onto the bed, wondering for the millionth time how he could be so graceful with such height. I found it hard enough to be graceful and I was under six foot tall. We had talked – and I mean really talked about everything and anything – for hours, but I still hadn't let the three words I longed to say slip through my lips. Yes I wanted to say them more than anything else, but my head wouldn't let them be said out loud, no matter how much I felt them. It was frustrating really, knowing he needed to hear it, knowing I needed to say it, but still not being able to get them out. How could three little words be so damn hard? I said them to my daughters multiple times per day, I've said them to Lissa countless times before, and they had been said to Dimitri by me before, sure it might have seemed like a lifetime ago, but I had still said them. But now, every time I tried, every time I opened my mouth to say them, I looked like a total idiot because absolutely nothing came out, not even air.

I relaxed into his embrace, knowing – and fearing – it wasn't going to last. I knew one of two things would happen. One: he would wake up and shy away not wanting to make me feel pressured or uncomfortable, or two: the girls would rush in and he would pull away unsure of what to do in the situation. I laid there contently in the arms of the man I love, breathing in his scent, relishing in the sensation his touch always brought to me. My skin tingled wherever his skin lingered on mine. I listened closely to his slow, relaxed breaths, and when I listened close enough I could hear his heart beating in time with mine. I was in heaven.

I slowly rolled over so I could face the gorgeous man behind me, I craved to see him. Perhaps it would allow me to believe that I wasn't dreaming, that he was in fact lying with me in my bed, holding me tightly, as he had done all night. He stirred slightly as I moved as carefully as I could within his hold, but he didn't wake. Finally I was facing him, his face was peaceful, though his eyes were fluttering rapidly behind his closed eyelids. I wished I could see what he was dreaming, I wondered if he was dreaming about me. _Vain much? The world doesn't revolve around you_, that annoying voice in my head said sarcastically. If it had been real, I'm sure it would have had a busted nose and two black eyes by the time I was finished with it. I lightly traced his jaw with the tips of my fingers, they softly lingered on his chin, his slight stubble prickled them, but I didn't care. I was in his arms, nothing else seemed to matter in that moment.

His eyes fluttered open and instantly caught mine. I braced myself for his reaction, I braced myself for him to pull away and the unjustified feeling of rejection that would surely follow. But the only reaction I received was him pulling me closer to him. I snuggled my head against his chest as he breathed in the scent of my hair. My fingers traced random patterns on his bare chest, remembering every line, every sculpted curve. He was more godly than my imagination had allowed me to remember. I pushed back slightly, and he started to release me from his comforting hold, but I held him, trying to let him know that wasn't what I wanted. I looked into his eyes, and saw everything I had ever wished for. And more.

"Good morning," I said softly.

"Good morning," he replied as he gazed lovingly into my eyes.

And with that I kissed him. I kissed him with everything I had, everything I had longed for in the past three years. And he kissed me back. Our mouths moved to complement each other as my hand tangled itself in his hair. He rolled onto his back, pulling me with him until I rested perfectly on top of him. The heat of his body sent chills of anticipation through mine. I needed to be close to him, as close as I could physically be. I would never need anyone in the same way as I needed him. He was all I would ever hunger for, and I knew in my heart that it was the same for him. I moved my legs up so that I was straddling him, my hands rested on his well chiselled chest as I pushed myself away from his lips. As I looked down at him I wondered what I had ever done to deserve his love. A small smile crossed his lips, a smile that mirrored mine and I stared into the deep brown eyes I had always lost myself in.

"Good morning," I said again, unable to stop my smile from growing wider.

"Good morning," he replied as he brushed hair away from my face, caressing my cheek as he did so. I leant into his gentle touch.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"What for?" he asked as slight confusion tried to replace his smile.

"For staying with me last night," I said with a slight blush. "Thank you for being here, thank you for being the father of my children. Thank you for everything."

He pulled me to his chest and cradled me in his arms. His heart beat was strong, full of life, and still beating in perfect rhythm with mine. I closed my eyes as I tried to fight back the tears. I had thought after all the crying I had done in the hours before I would have a lack of tears for years to come. But these tears weren't coming from sadness or fear. They were coming from love, happiness and acceptance. I finally felt like I was home, I felt like I was right where I belonged.

"I love you so much my Roza," he murmured into my hair. My heart skipped a beat at his words.

"I love you too Dimitri," I whispered.

I felt the smile spread across his lips as one spread across mine. Relief flooded through me as I said the words I had been longing to say the night before. I loved him as the father of my children, I loved him as my future, I loved him with every ounce of my heart and soul. And I knew that as long as we were together we could face anything.

I lifted my head and my lips instantly connected with his again. Passion flared as he pulled me closer to him. His hands explored down my sides and up my back, causing my body to spasm under his touch. My tongue sought his lips begging for the chance to explore the depths of his mouth. His tongue met mine and they danced around each other. His hands loitered at the hem of my tank top, and I knew he wanted it to be gone, but he was hesitating – and I knew why. Without thinking I took the lead and removed my top, leaving my chest bare in front of him. He gazed up at me, his eyes hungry but loving.

"You are the most beautiful woman this world has ever held Roza," he whispered as his fingers trailed down my chest.

I knew where we were headed, but I needed to stop myself from falling into ecstasy it promised. I needed him to be a part of me in every way possible, I needed to feel him, I needed to feel like I had in the cabin all those years ago. But we both knew the risks, I could fall pregnant to him, and with all that was happening I knew it wasn't a great idea if we didn't have any protection.

"Roza, what's wrong?" he asked, instantly seeing the smile drop from my face as my fear rose inside.

"We can't do this Dimitri," I said, and with my words his smile faltered before disappearing completely. "No! Please don't think it's because I don't want to, because I do. It's just that last time this happened…well we know what happened 'cause there's two beautiful girls sleeping in the next room. Now isn't the time to be falling pregnant again."

"Oh," he said softly. "So if we had protection you would want to?"

"Of course," I said as I smiled down at him. "I love you Dimitri, I haven't been with anyone else but you, nor do I want to be with anyone else but you."

He pulled me to him, our lips collided once again. If it were at all possible I was sure you would have seen fireworks exploding as our passion intensified. I relished under his touch as his slightly calloused hands swept over my skin. I kissed him as though my life depended on it, and maybe it actually did. As I pulled away from him – the need for air finally making me succumb – I felt whole again.

I looked at the alarm clock resting on the bedside table and was shocked. It was six in the morning and the twins hadn't come barging in yet. I slipped my tank top on and removed myself from Dimitri's waist in anticipation of my daughters finding us. I was content to say to myself that everything was on its way to being okay with Dimitri and I, but I wasn't sure I was ready to shout that from the rooftops. I sat next to Dimitri and held his hand in mine, tracing random patterns on his skin with my thumb. His hand was much bigger than mine, but they fitted together perfectly, just like everything else.

He sat up and leaned into me, brushing his lips on the top of my head. I breathed in his heavenly scent, becoming slightly dizzy as his delicious aroma filled my senses. I had no idea how I had lived without him for three long years, I had no idea if I could do it again. Not that I was planning on leaving him. But with the battle that I was sure was coming, I didn't know who would make it out the other side.

"Dimitri, I need to tell you something," I said softly. "But you need to keep it to yourself, at least until I'm ready to tell everyone else."

"I won't tell a soul Roza," he said before kissing my cheek.

"When I talked to Adrian the other day, he said he stopped contacting me through my dreams and e-mails because he thought someone was watching. He said he found out who it might have been," I explained as I looked down at my fidgeting hands.

"Who?" Dimitri asked, it seemed he was losing patience, but since it was regarding his daughters, I couldn't really blame him.

"He told me that Victor Dashkov was broken out of prison and from the reports the guards filed, well he said it sounds like a spirit user was involved."

"He's on the loose?" Dimitri demanded.

"Yes, I didn't want to say anything yesterday because of Lissa, and I know I should have told you last night, but I just didn't think of it until now," I shied away from him a little, I had seen the day before what his temper was like.

"Oh Roza, I'm not angry at you, I just know what that man's capable of." He pulled me to his chest and held me tightly.

I knew what that man was capable of too, the images that constantly flashed through my mind were more than enough to remind me. And as I laid there in Dimitri's arms the images flooded through me again. I could still feel what Lissa had felt, I felt her fear cursing through me as if it was happening in that moment. My body shook as I tried to peel away the images that threatened to turn me into mush, similar to what I had been the night before. One night of weakness was more than enough to last me several life times, so I pulled myself together. It was all I knew to do. I pushed it all to the back of my mind, it took a lot of work, but I succeeded.

I had a long relaxing shower while Dimitri got the girls up and ready for the day. I relaxed as the water cascaded down my body, unknotting my muscles as it went. I leant my head against the tiles as I pondered the mornings events. Dimitri had been in my bed! A giddy feeling crept through my body as I remembered what had _almost_ happened between us. Oh I had wanted it so bad. But once again it showed how much I had changed in my time away, I could now prioritise, I knew what had to come first. And throwing another baby into the mix would be selfish. I hoped one day I would have the chance to have another child with Dimitri, I prayed we would both survive whatever was coming. I prayed we all survived.

I wasn't sure if everyone was meeting again that day, or if after my mental breakdown they had decided to take another day to ensure my mental health was back to normal. Either way I still prepared myself for it. I thought of every different scenario I could, anything that could help in making the plans we desperately needed. I thought of every strigoi I had faced in Baia, I tried to remember if they had said anything to me while they had been attacking. But they hadn't said anything that could help us.

I stepped out of the shower and looked at myself in the lavish mirror. Everything in Lissa's house was lavish in one way or another. I looked the same as I had the day before, which was nothing like I felt I should have looked like. I felt different, and for some reason I was expecting myself to look different. My eyes held some life in them, life I hadn't seen in a long time, but that was the only difference. I dressed quickly and went downstairs, eager to see my babies.

They were sitting on the kitchen stools watching Dimitri hover over the stove. Their eyes only left him when I entered the room. Smiles lit their faces and reached their eyes with ease. Tia instantly reached out to me, and I took her in my arms. She snuggled in and played with my still wet hair. Kes went back to watching Dimitri, wonder in her eyes as she watched him flip pancakes in the pan. I kissed the top of her head before placing Tia back on her stool. The aroma of pancakes and bacon filled the kitchen, and I felt my heart clench hard inside my chest. The love of my life was making breakfast for our children. That urge to pinch myself came back, and this time I couldn't resist, it was all too dreamlike. The girls laughed as they watched me pinch my arm, the pain shocked me back into reality, but I still looked at the same picture that I had before.

"Are you feeling better Mummy?" Kes asked, her eyes remaining on Dimitri.

"Much better, did you have fun with Aunty Lissa?" I asked as I gently stroked their hair.

"Yeah," Tia answered. "And now Daddy is making breakfast for everyone," she said happily.

I grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge and poured six glasses as Dimitri finished up cooking. He piled the pancakes and bacon high on one plate and placed it in the middle of the kitchen table. Lissa and Christian moseyed into the room, both looking worn and tired. They of course didn't complain that breakfast was ready for them. I sat between Lissa and Kes, while Dimitri sat next to Tia and Christian. Laughter filled the air as we ate and talked, it was almost as if the meeting that damned us all the previous day hadn't happened.

_Did Dimitri cook breakfast? _Lissa asked through the bond. I simply nodded my head in reply. _So he stayed last night?_ she asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Nothing happened," I said out loud, instantly wishing the bond worked both ways.

"Nothing happened when?" Christian enquired.

I shot a playful warning look to Lissa which only made her break out in fits of laughter. I couldn't help myself, I joined in, holding my stomach as it ached from a combination of eating too much and laughing too hard. Christian and Dimitri looked at us and then at each other, before shrugging and starting to clear the table. Lissa and I eventually pulled ourselves together, enough so that we could help with the washing up.

"Liss, would you guys mind if Dimitri stayed here with us?" I asked as a slight blush crept along my cheeks.

The girls instantly looked up at me, their eyes wide. They obviously hadn't been expecting me to ask that, and from the look on their faces, neither had Lissa or Christian. Dimitri looked at me with so much love in his eyes, my heart swelled as he kissed the top of my head softly.

"Of course, I'll organise to have your belongings moved over here," Lissa said happily. "Does this mean you've worked things out?"

For the second time in two days all eyes were on me. All eagerly awaiting my answer. The girls looked like they were going to fall off their chairs if they leaned over any further. Lissa looked like she was going to combust if I made her wait any longer for my response. Dimitri took my sudd-soaked hand in his and squeezed it lightly.

"We're working them out," I said honestly as I smiled up at Dimitri. "I want him near us…in case anything happens."

Dimitri smiled down at me, he knew what I meant. We still had a lot to get through, but I knew we would be doing it together. The shrill of a phone ringing broke me from my trance and I continued washing up while Lissa ran off to answer it. Dimitri stepped in to take over from Lissa and dried the plates as I washed them. It felt so right. We had just finished the last of the dishes as Lissa walked back into the kitchen. I instantly knew something wasn't right, she was struggling to compose her thoughts, but she was also blocking me from reading too far into them.

She looked at me sadly before she went to sit at the table. _Oh God, she's found out about Victor escaping_, I thought as dread flooded through my body. I had wanted to tell her myself, I hadn't wanted her to find out any other way. Now it was too late.

"Sit down Rose," Lissa said softly, it was obvious she was stressed.

"What's wrong Liss?" I asked once I was seated next to her.

"Please don't freak out," she pleaded. "I don't know how she found out I swear."

"How who found what out?" I asked in a panic.

"The Queen has summoned you and the girls," Lissa said softly. "The messenger said, and I quote, 'her Majesty has learned of Miss Rosemarie Hathaway, and what her children can do, she desires their company immediately'. I'm so sorry Rose."

I took a deep breath, in an attempt to settle my nerves. My mind raced as it tried to think of how she could have possibly found out the information she claimed to have. Maybe she was bluffing? But I doubted that, she didn't seem like the type of person who would bluff about anything. My hand sought Dimitri's as the panic threatened to overcome me.

"I'll come with you Roza," he whispered into my ear. "It will be okay."

"She didn't ask for you, Dimitri," Lissa said.

"That doesn't matter, I'm going whether she likes it or not," he told her, there was no way he was going to stay while I took our daughters to a fate unknown.

"Guess I need to change," I said as I looked down at my torn skinny jeans and marked tank top. So much for a lazy day. "Liss could you find something nice for the girls to wear? I brought some dresses."

"Of course," she replied as she ushered the girls out of the room.

I walked to my room with Dimitri close on my heel. I was about to ask him to stay out while I changed, but decided against it. It wasn't exactly a time for modesty. I walked into the spacious wardrobe and looked through my clothes. I didn't really have anything worthy of wearing in front of the Queen. In the end I pulled out a plain, knee-length black pencil skirt and a light blue buttoned blouse. As I strapped up my black strappy heels I could feel my nerves rising. _What the hell could she want? How could she possibly know about the twins? Did someone I trust tell her behind my back?_ I thought in a rush. But I had no answers for any of the questions that were pounding through my head.

I stood from my bed and took Dimitri's hand in mine before walking out of my room. Downstairs Lissa was waiting with the girls. They were wearing matching white summer dresses with white sandals. They looked adorable with their hair pulled into pigtails. I quickly ran my fingers through my hair, having forgotten about it completely, and pulled it into a messy yet stylish bun – at least I hoped it was stylish and not just messy.

Dimitri, the girls and I walked out of the door, heading into unchartered territory, not knowing what the meeting would bring.


	11. Prophesy

A/N: While I don't want to make excuses for why it has taken me so long to post this chapter, I want to apologise for the delay. It's been a few really hard months and I couldn't bring myself to write anything. I'm also sorry for any spelling and/or grammar errors in this chapter. I didn't have time to double check it.

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><p>PROPHESY<p>

As we stepped out of the house a thought occurred to me, followed closely by another. Did I really want to subject my daughters to meeting the Queen? Did I want them to hear what she might have to say? The immediate answer was no. I didn't know why the Queen had summoned us, but I didn't count on it being good. My stomach churned as I stepped away from the door, I was at a complete loss as to what I should do. Take the chance of pissing off the Queen, or have my daughters subjected to whatever harsh and outrageous things she had to say?

"Stop...I can't do this," I said as I came to a standstill at the top of the stairs. "They need to stay here," I told Dimitri.

"The Queen summoned them Roza," he said hesitantly.

"I know, but I can't take them there, they need to stay here for now."

Dimitri simply nodded and I took the girls back inside. I briefly checked the bond so I knew where to find Lissa and headed in that direction. She was in the room she had picked as the nursery. It was bare, though she was already thinking colours, furniture, toys, decoration and anything else she could possibly fit in the room. As I entered the room I found Lissa with her back to us, her hands resting gently on her stomach. She was so happy to be pregnant, and for her everything was perfect since I was back.

"Liss?" I asked quietly, I didn't want to startle her. "Would you mind watching the girls?"

"Oh," Lissa breathed as she spun around to face us. "Of course not, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't feel comfortable with the twins meeting the Queen right now," I replied, hoping she would understand.

"But Mummy, we want to meet her," Kes whined.

"I know baby, and you both will meet her one day, just not today," I said as I looked pleadingly at Lissa.

"How about we go shopping girls?" Lissa said enthusiastically. "You can help me pick out furniture for the baby."

The girls squealed happily. I kissed them both on the cheek and thanked Lissa before I ran out the door to meet Dimitri again. I felt better knowing my daughters were safe with Lissa, and I could find out what the Queen wanted without the fear of the twins hearing it before we could tame it down a bit. I was sure she was going to banish us from court, or worse, she would force us into disgusting scientific testing. She'd probably get some sick pleasure out of either of those too.

Lissa had offered to call for her personal driver to pick us up, but I had insisted on walking and Dimitri had agreed with me. Sure the palace was on the other side of court, but I needed the fresh night air to help clear my mind. Dimitri held my hand, which helped lower my anxiety levels, but I couldn't stop my mind from wandering to who could have told the Queen about us. My main focus was on Adrian, and as much as I tried to convince myself that he wouldn't do that, his name kept screaming inside my head whenever I thought of who it might have been. Apart from Lissa, he was the only person I knew of who had a direct link to the Queen, and I was sure I'd know if Lissa had told her, her guilt would consume her. But Adrian had been at the meeting, I had stressed the importance of keeping it all a secret, and he had told Dimitri where I was so that the girls and I would be safe. Knowing someone had betrayed us in such a way made my blood boil, and I knew I would probably kill them if I ever got my hands on them. And that was no threat, it was a promise.

"You know I won't let anything happen to you or our daughters." Dimitri said, breaking me from my thoughts.

"I know," I replied as I noticed for the first time the looks we were getting from the moroi and dhampirs that passed us. It's not every day you see two dhampirs holding hands, definitely not in public.

"Then would you stop stressing?"

"Wish it was that easy," I told him. "What do we do if they banish us from court? How can we protect the girls without the safety of the wards?"

"If that was to happen, we would find somewhere safe Roza," he told me as he squeezed my hand. "Our family is my main priority, nothing will ever get close to you or our girls."

My heart swelled with his words, but they didn't fade my concerns of who had told the Queen about our daughters, or everything else that was pounding around inside my head. We walked the rest of the way in silence. It didn't feel as natural as our silences usually are, but I put that down to my nerves. I noticed Dimitri was standing straight as we entered the large entrance, his hand held mine firmly.

"Can I help you?" a burly guardian asked as he walked towards us. He was sporting a perfectly pressed guardian suit, and proudly wore a pin the left breast. The pin that announced he had been hand-picked by the Queen herself to be one of several guardians who were her personal protection.

"We are here to see the Queen," I replied as I tried to hold my sarcasm inside.

"And you are?" he asked impatiently.

"Rosemarie Hathaway," I replied equalling his impatience.

"You are supposed to be accompanied by your daughters, and not the guardian," he said eyeing Dimitri with a foul look.

"I didn't feel the need to include my daughters in this meeting, I can provide her majesty with all the information she may require," I told him with spite in my voice. "And Guardian Belikov is here whether you like it or not."

"Your funeral," the guardian muttered with a shrug.

He left us for a brief moment while he spoke to another guardian in the room. I watched as they spoke, and I saw each time they took a sideways glance at us, glances that almost mirrored the ones we had received on our way to the palace. It was taboo for a dhampir to be romantically involved with another dhampir. It happened, but not at court, and definitely not in public. But really, I couldn't care less. I wasn't letting go of Dimitri's hand.

"Follow me," the other guardian said a second before he walked towards a doorway.

We were led down a long hallway. Plush carpet cushioned our steps, the dark walls on each side of us were adorned with expensive paintings. A few I noticed were portraits for the Queen herself, one she was sitting with Adrian standing slightly behind her. Silence surrounded us, our footsteps were insulated by the carpet and I wasn't too sure whether Dimitri and I were still breathing. We passed at least fifteen doors before the guardian stopped and knocked on one. The door opened slightly, but the guardian was blocking my view as to who was there. A few hushed words were shared before the door opened wider and the guardian moved to stand guard at the side.

Dimitri entered the room first – it was as if he was on duty and I was his charge – and I was close behind him. The room was large and extremely extravagant, decorated in a way as I could only describe as royal like. Large, sturdy book cases lined each of the walls, they were filled with tens of thousands of books, all of them looked old and had a fine layer of dust covering them. In the middle of the room sat two rustic red velvet couches, a dark wooden coffee table sat between them with only a vase of deep red roses sitting on top. The windows peeked out between the dominating bookshelves and were open, allowing the cool night breeze to whisper around the otherwise quiet room. Standing in front of one of the windows was the last person I expected to be there. Yeva. Had she been the one to alert the Queen to my daughters and their abilities? I had trusted her, I had always believed her words to be true, I couldn't imagine her doing anything that she didn't feel was right, had she betrayed me?

"Her Majesty will be with us shortly," Yeva said as she watched over the busy streets below.

"How could you bring her into this when Roza stressed that she didn't want anyone else to know?" Dimitri demanded in a growl.

"I did what was required."

Dimitri and I stood awkwardly near the door as silence once again encased the room. I tried to make myself believe the words Yeva had spoken in her thick Russian accent, but my brain wouldn't let them soak in. _Traitor_, it was the only word that echoed through my head every time I tried to convince myself that she was on our side. I held tightly onto Dimitri's hand, without it I felt like I would lose all my strength and fall to the floor in a heap. As if sensing my distress Dimitri squeezed my hand slightly and kissed the top of my head, his lips lingered as he inhaled the scent of my shampoo.

Finally, a door to our right that had been hidden by the book cases opened and the Queen entered the room. She held every bit of grace you would expect from someone in her position, if not more, and in that moment I could see Lissa in her place, it was as if Lissa had been made to fill the role of Queen. She wore a light grey pant suit with a coral blouse underneath the jacket. She was showing her age, which was uncharacteristic for a moroi, they generally lived to be well over a hundred and looked good doing it too, but I guessed the stress of her status would wear even the toughest thin. I automatically curtseyed and Dimitri bowed slightly, Yeva however continued to stare out the window.

"No need for formalities," the Queen said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I was expecting two more, and yet one less."

She sat elegantly on the couch that was facing Dimitri and I. She had said there was no need for formalities, but I had no idea what was classed as a formality and what would have just been good manners – and lets face it, manners had never been a strong point for me. So in all I figured it was best to be invited to sit, and well, honestly…I wasn't sure if I could move.

"Please take a seat, we should get this discussion underway," the Queen said in a half dismissive tone.

_Discussion?_ I scoffed internally as I sat next to Dimitri. Discussions only worked if they were two ways, and I wasn't exactly counting on that being the case here. The Queen knew information she shouldn't have, and I didn't really see her helping in any way, especially if she had nothing to gain from it. And what did she have to gain from my relationship with Dimitri or my daughter? Nothing good as far as I could see it. I felt like yelling and screaming, spilling out words that would defend my daughters from everything my mind conjured up, but my voice betrayed me, my hands fidgeting nervously in my lap. Where was the middle ground in a situation where one person clearly held all the cards?

"Yeva came to me yesterday, speaking of a parchment of paper I had completely forgotten I had in my possession," the Queen said as she rolled out an old piece of parchment paper. "It's a prophesy that speaks of…angels…yes that's the nest translation for the wording. It states that these angels will save our world from the darkness that is to come."

I forced myself to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat as I watched Yeva move from the window to sit next to the Queen. For a reason I'm sure I will never know, Dimitri seemed much more relaxed than I was. Perhaps he was just better at hiding his anxiety and tension.

"Now, before I continue, I must ask why did you not bring the twins when I summoned them as well?"

"I didn't know what this meeting was about Your Majesty, I didn't feel right about them being here without knowing what would be spoken about," I answered, struggling to keep my voice level.

"And what did you think this meeting would be about Rosemarie?" she asked with a coy smile.

"I don't think my assumptions are important."

"Okay, though it is important to know why Guardian Belikov is here. He was not summoned, though you obviously felt the need to bring him."

"Yes I did," I answered simply. I just wanted to get this meeting over with so I could get back to my girls.

"And your reasons for that would be?" she pushed.

_None of your god damned business_, the words screamed inside my head as I looked at Dimitri. He smiled slightly and nodded, giving me the okay to tell her the truth. They still weren't words I was used to saying out loud. I had held them in for so long they almost seemed foreign to me/ it had only been said twice since he had found me in Baia, and that had been hard enough for me. Now I was supposed to tell someone who was practically a stranger to me? I took a deep breath in, trying to steady my nerves enough for the words to leave my lips, but Dimitri stepped in, knowing the internal conflict I was going through.

"I am the twins' father, Your Majesty," he said smoothly.

"Well, that's as good a reason as any for your being here," she said with a slight laugh – and I mean slight, I almost missed it. "And please, just call me Tatiana, as I said before there is no need for formalities here."

She looked at the parchment of paper she still held in her hands, her eyes moving slowly as she read the lines. The only sounds to be heard in the room were as she oh'd and ah'd at different points.

"Well it seems the prophesy is true thus far, it states that the angels were to be born to dhampir parents who shared a love like no other, and you both are definitely dhampir," she said as she glanced up from the piece of paper. "Tell me more about your daughters."

"What do you want to know?" I asked, I didn't know where to start when it came to my girls, I also didn't know how much I should say.

"Everything of course," she said as if it was obvious that's what she was expecting, and I guess it should have been obvious, but I seemed to be missing at least half my brain at that point.

"Well…they are two and a half years old and can speak fluently in both English and Russian, they are incredibly advanced for their age."

"And?" she pushed, seeming to already know there was more.

"They have abilities," I said in a small voice, remembering there was a guardian standing in the hallway.

"I can assure you both that no one can hear anything said in this room, they wouldn't even hear me scream, which is why I have several panic buttons around the room in case the need ever arises," the Queen said, though it didn't do much to ease my worries. "Now, what are these abilities you speak of?"

"How do I know I can trust you?" I asked in the most direct tone I could conjure. Any worry I had about offending the Queen had flown out the window.

"Oh dear Rosemarie, the wellbeing and safety of the entire moroi and dhampir races is at risk, and if this prophesy is correct, which it has been as far as I've read, then both our races could be annihilated, and the strigoi would gain control of everything," she replied, her face showed the slight appearance of stress lines.

I thought back to what the strigoi had said on the last night we has spent in Baia. _We know what they can do, they will aid us in our victory_, he had said. A chill ran down my spine as I realised I had been disillusioning myself for the past few days when thinking that our situation only affected my friends and family, but it was so much bigger than that. The strigoi knew of a weapon that was powerful enough to wipe out not just everyone I cared about, but everyone in our world. And that weapon was in our possession – our daughters. Anger flared inside of me as I realised the error I had made, I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of this sooner. Suddenly Yeva's made complete sense to me, _those who care must know what to prepare for. If not the loss will be greater than you could ever imagine, child_. I had been so blinded by the fact that my friends and family were in danger that I couldn't see the entire picture, one fundamental that had been instilled into every novice that attended every academy in the world, you always had to look at the bigger picture. And as much as I might have hated it, I knew what I had to do.

"They each have their own ability," I started. "Tiannah has dreams of the past and future. The ones she has told me of the future have come true at some point."

"How amazing," Tatiana commented.

"Akeso can heal, only minor injuries really," I stated. "But it has become more enhanced since I first discovered what she could do."

"Incredible!" she exclaimed. "Is there anymore?"

I swallowed deeply and said a little softer, "They share a bond."

"Like the one you share with Princess Vasilisa?" she enquired.

"I don't really know exactly how it works except that they can talk to each other through it. I'm not sure if it includes thoughts and feelings, and whether it's instant or controlled." I told her honestly.

I had always wondered how the bond between the twins worked, but I had never been able to bring myself to ask them. What I knew of their abilities had always put me on edge, and I don't think I was ever truly ready to know any more about what they could do. Yes, I should have asked them, maybe it was some kind of integral part of them and who they were, but as a mother I couldn't bear to ask them.

"They sound like such extraordinary girls Rose, you must be so proud," she said, her eyes shone with light, which caused dread to hit the pit of my stomach. To me it only meant that the prophesy had been true, my daughters were the angels it spoke about, and it didn't seem like a great thing to me at all.

"Proud to be their mother yes, I wouldn't change it for anything. Though in all honesty I've been nothing but terrified since I noticed their abilities, I knew it meant they would never be safe."

Silence once again filled the room as the Queen went back to reading the prophesy. My fingers fidgeted uncontrollably with each other, and my feet wouldn't stay still. My anxiety levels continued to rise as my mind came to terms with what the meeting had held so far. My daughters, at the age of two and a half, were responsible for the lives of tens of thousands of moroi and dhampir. That part my mind found totally incomprehensible. They were too young for this kind of responsibility.

"It says in the prophesy that there is a man who can provide insight and training for the twins, so they can prepare for the battle ahead," Tatiana said as she gazed over the parchment. "He is located in Australia, it provides an approximate location for where to find him. I'll have a team of guardians prepare to leave within a couple of hours to find him, we're going to need his help."

"Yes, we will," Yeva said, speaking for the first time since just after Dimitri and I had entered the room.

I was beginning to lose control of the thoughts moving rapidly through my head. This meeting hadn't been like I had expected at all. I had shown up expecting to told we had to leave court immediately, but instead the Queen was going to help us? Sure it wasn't without benefit to her, but it was help all the same. My thoughts continued to tare through my brain, they were gaining speed rapidly, and I feared I was heading into another emotional breakdown. Dimitri squeezed my hand tightly, but it did very little to ease my thoughts, they continued on their path of destruction.

"Your…Tatiana," Dimitri began with a stutter. "Is there anything else you need to know?"

"Not for now, I would of course like to meet Tiannah and Akeso, but that can wait for another day, I am sure you would like to be on your way," she replied politely, I wondered if it was that obvious that I was heading for a meltdown?

"Roza has had a long couple of days and I really think she needs some rest before we continue," Dimitri told her. "Would you mind keeping us informed as to when the gentleman from Australia will be arriving?"

"I will be sure to pass on all the information I receive," she promised. "Get some rest Rosemarie, I fear we have some very difficult times ahead."

_That's the understatement of the year_, I thought as Dimitri helped me up from the couch. He guided me through the door and down the long hallway, the guardian who had been waiting at the door to the room we had been in stayed there. The cool air hit me like a tonne of bricks, it was the wakeup call I had needed. The thoughts didn't go away, but they were calmer then they had been, I was actually able to think with some kind of clarity. Not that I wanted to think, it was the last thing I wanted to do, curling up and hibernating sounded like a much nicer idea than confronting the unsettling thoughts crowding my life. Each thought was generally worse than the one before it. I rested my head against Dimitri's shoulder as we headed for Lissa's, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, providing the comfort I needed.

We entered the house and were greeted by two screaming girls running at us. Kes ran to me while Tia ran for Dimitri, instantly insisting they be picked up. I held onto Kes as though it was my last day on earth. I inhaled the scent of her hair, and memorised everything about both of them, from every scattered freckle to the slight dimple they had in the left cheek when they smiled.

"Were you both very good for Aunty Lissa?" I asked as I tried to hide my mental exhaustion.

"Yes Mummy," they replied together, I couldn't help but giggle at their fake angelic voices, they had surely been up to something.

"What did you get up to?" I asked, choosing not to follow up on anything they might have done wrong.

"We went shopping with Aunty Lissa and helped her pick out baby stuff," Tia told me with a huge smile. "It's all blue Mummy, and she let us choose the crib on our own!"

"Did you tell Aunty Lissa what she was having Miss Tiannah?" I asked with a laugh.

"It just slipped out Mummy," she pleaded with a pout. "I promise I didn't mean to."

"What did you do after shopping?" Dimitri asked once he had stopped laughing.

"We came home and had sandwiches for lunch, then Grandma came around," Kes said as she played with my hair.

I wasn't sure in that moment what I should have been focusing on more, the fact that Kes had called Lissa's house home, or the fact that my mother had been there, and for all I knew could still be there. After the day I had had, I wasn't ready for the talk my mother had promised me the day we arrived on court. I hadn't been avoiding her so much, I had just been hoping the talk would be nice and wait for a somewhat less stressful time.

"Is Grandma still here baby?" I asked once I was at least half sure my voice wouldn't falter.

"Yep, she's waiting for you Mummy," Tia replied.

"Can you take the girls Dimitri?" I asked him. "I'd like to talk to my mother alone."

"How about we go to the park girls?" Dimitri asked and was instantly met with two very excited squeals.

Dimitri took Kes from my arms and kissed me. He walked out the door with our two gorgeous daughters with a firm promise they would be back soon. I took a deep breath once the front door was closed and checked the bond. Lissa was in the sitting room with my mother and the strange moroi man who I had seen with my mother twice now. I made a mental note to ask her who he was. I set off in the direction of the sitting room, not ready to face my mother, but not prepared to run again.


	12. Love

LOVE

"You can't be serious!" Lissa exclaimed incredulously.

We were sitting out on the back patio sipping our sodas as the twins played happily in the backyard. Lissa's house might have been a mansion, but her backyard was like a scene out of a movie. She had her very own secret garden. Even as the stars glistened in the night sky flowers were in full bloom, they sent vibrant contrasts throughout the green of the rich foliage. It was truly magical, and the main reason why I couldn't exactly keep up with the conversation, I was captivated in the beauty that surrounded me. I guess when your life was as out of control as mine was at that moment, you could find beauty where you had never really noticed it before.

"Huh? Serious about what?" I asked, knowing instantly Lissa would chastise me for not giving her my full attention.

"Oh Rose," Lissa sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes for added effect. "You're the one giving the juicy info, and you can't keep up with it."

"I really don't count anything happening in my life right now as juicy," I said with a hint of bitterness in my tone. "Juicy would be Dimitri asking me to run away with him and the girls so we could get married without any disapproval."

Instead of remaining on the fantasy of marrying Dimitri and living happily ever after, my mind drifted to the events of the day before, it skipped right over the meeting with the Queen and went into a slow motion replay of the time I had spent with my mother. In the scheme of things it hadn't gone too bad. She hadn't tried to disown me, she had actually praised me – well as much praise as my mother would ever give – for how well I raised my daughters. I think she was actually impressed that they didn't already have criminal records, and I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of that. Sure I had started building my reputation at the age of four, but that didn't mean my children would too. I knew what Lissa was referring to as the afternoon replayed in my mind, and I still wasn't entirely sure how I felt about it, I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel about it.

"Yes I'm serious," I said, finally replying to her question.

"How do you feel about it?" Lissa asked. "I mean, why right now? Surely they could have picked a better time to tell you."

"I don't know I feel about it really, it's not something I ever considered happening, it's not something that happens every day for dhampirs," I tried to explain. "I don't think there would have ever been the perfect moment for this sort of news, especially with all that's happening right now. They couldn't really wait until it was all over, who knows what's going to happen in the next few months."

I always tried to keep my negative thoughts and feelings about the approaching battle away from my daughters. I didn't want them to have any added stress about what was happening, but that didn't mean I wasn't feeling the enormous amount of stress and pressure. The reality was that we had no idea who would make it out alive, if any of us did. So in that sense I couldn't say it was wrong for my mother to tell me now, she was probably seeing things like I was.

"I wish you wouldn't talk like that," Lissa complained, and through the bond I could feel her unease. She refused to consider the possibility that some of our friends and family might not make it out alive.

"Sorry Liss, but I need to be realistic about it."

Silence wrapped around us as neither of us knew what more we could say about the issue. I would have loved to remain positive at all times, I would have loved to believe that everything was going to be okay, that everyone would survive and we could go on living like nothing had ever happened. But with the training I had done, the things I had seen, the strigoi I had faced and killed, I knew that wasn't possible. Even if – and that was a huge if – we all made it out alive, things would never be the same for any of us. We would all change, even if it was in the smallest of ways, it would still happen. I had to be realistic. But Lissa couldn't bring herself to do that. I admired her for that, and in some ways I envied it too. Living without needed to face reality until it hit seemed like a nice place to be, but living with denial is only great until it packs its bag and leaves.

"So, do you think he's really your dad?" Lissa asked.

"I guess so, short of demanding a DNA test, I only have their word for it," I said with a slight sigh.

"Is that enough though?"

"Yeah, I guess. There was a strange familiarity about him when I first saw him," I replied, thinking back to the night I had arrived at court.

"And how do you feel about it?" she asked again in that caring tone she uses when she's worried about me.

"Did I miss your graduation from psych school?" I was unable to contain my laugh.

"Oh stop it," Lissa said as she playfully slapped me on the arm. "I'm worried about you, this is huge news Rose, especially with everything else going on at the moment."

She was right, as usual. It was huge news, and news I never expected to get in my lifetime. But if I was to put it on a scale with everything else I had going on, it was a walk in the park. I hadn't demanded that he make up for every birthday and Christmas he had missed, though a few years ago I'm sure I would have, there was only one thing I wanted from him. From what they told me, he was influential, he had a way of getting anything he wanted, not willing to stop until he had it. So the only thing I asked for – the only thing I could ask for – was that he protected his granddaughters with everything he had.

"I guess it's kinda strange," I said honestly. "I knew he was out there somewhere, but now he's here, and my mother actually left her charge to guard him."

"What?" she asked incredulously, even she knew how dedicated my mother was to being a guardian.

"I know right, I was shocked too. She said after I left she didn't feel she could completely protect her charge, so I guess it was the right thing to do."

Lissa was somewhat speechless. Janine Hathaway had an almost golden reputation. She could have been one of the Queen's personal guardians a long time ago, but she was too dedicated to her charge, and many admired her for that. I guess the part that shocked me the most was that she left her charge because she was too worried about me, and because of that she didn't want to risk her judgement being impaired. I'd never had a great relationship with my mother, I had resented her for as long as I could remember, so I guess I never considered that my disappearing would have any negative affect on her. I had been wrong. After the bombshell had been dropped, I spent some time just talking with my mother. It was something we had never really done, but it went well, I think. Neither of us ended up throwing punches or storming out of the room, so I'm sure people would consider that good.

When Dimitri brought the girls back from the park I introduced them to their grandfather. Dimitri couldn't hide the look of shock on his face, though I wasn't sure he was trying. He hadn't been wearing his infamous guardian mask much lately, and I wasn't sure if that was from a lack of trying, or if he was just finding it harder to hide his emotions from me. The twins were instantly infatuated with their new family member and went about asking him a million and one questions. Abe answered every one, thankfully not in too much detail at times. He might not be a criminal, but I wondered if that was only because he had never been caught.

"When do you think the boys will be back?" I asked as I listened to the girls laughing and squealing.

Dimitri had agreed – after a lot of convincing – to go out with Christian and Adrian. He had never been one to hang out in clubs, unless he was on duty and his moroi was there, but he needed some down time.

"Oh, I don't know," Lissa replied after looking at her watch, a smirk played on her lips. "Missing Dimitri already are we?"

I laughed. "A little," I told her honestly.

"I've wanted to ask you what's going on there, but I didn't want to upset you."

"I still love him, after all this time I still love him so much." I sighed. "I want to let him in, but I'm so scared he'll hurt me again, I can't go through that again Liss."

"He's not going to hurt you again Rose," Lissa said softly. "You didn't see how he was when you were gone, you didn't see the pain in his eyes or hear the quiver in his voice whenever he spoke of you. He loves you Rose, and he's not going to risk losing you again."

I wished I could believe what she said, but it was like my heart was behind a steel barrier and wouldn't hear any of it. Once bitten, twice shy, is what they say, and boy I knew the meaning to that saying all too well. I had no doubt that I loved him, it was trusting him not to hurt me again that was the issue.

"It's funny really," Lissa said after the silence had dragged on longer than she liked. "You keep talking about being realistic, you keep saying some of us might not make it, and yet you can't be realistic about this when it's real in the here and now."

"I am being realistic…"

"No you're not, because frankly, if you were you would see just how dedicated Dimitri is," she said cutting me off. "He always has been, but he's no longer dedicated to his duty as a guardian, it's you and your daughters."

Was I just being over-cautious with my heart? I couldn't deny that I was, but I had good reason for it. I had been sharing a bed with him, but I hadn't allowed things to get any closer than that. But another thought was plaguing me too, what if he didn't make it through whatever was coming? And with that one question everything became clear. I would regret not sharing everything with him, I would regret wasting time on an issue I knew would become petty and insignificant if he was to die.

"I'm going to put the girls to bed, and then get ready for bed myself," I said as I stood from the lounge like chair.

"Sounds like a plan," Lissa said as she yawned. "Being pregnant sure takes a lot out of you."

I took the girls upstairs and got a bath ready for them. I wouldn't have bothered except that they were filthy from running around in the backyard. They splashed around as I washed their hair and cleaned their faces. Once they resembled little girls once again I helped them dress into their pyjamas and put them into bed. It was a nightly ritual of mine to kiss them goodnight and tell them how much I loved them, before wishing them sweet dreams and leaving the room. And that seemed more important than ever.

Once in my own room I stripped off my clothes and turned the water on in the shower. Having water cascade over me had always been a good way for me to calm my mind, it relaxed me beyond comprehension. There was no more impending doom, no more heartache, stress or worry. I could begin to think clearer, and of happier thoughts. I leaned my head against the cold tiles as the water continued to massage my neck and back, and I let my thoughts drift to Dimitri. The risk was huge, and it no longer just affected me, my daughters could get hurt too. But the 'what if' of losing him in the battle seemed to out-weigh the 'what if' of him hurting me. And with that in mind I knew what I had to do.

I dried myself off and changed into a black lace chemise and matching thong. I knew I might be in for a bit of a wait, Dimitri wasn't best friends with Christian and he didn't get along with Adrian at all, but he would consider it rude to leave without them. But wait I would. I curled up on the couch, placed the blanket over my legs and switched the T.V on. There wasn't much on, so I settled on a documentary about African wildlife, and just hoped it didn't bore me to sleep. Surprisingly enough, the documentary wasn't too bad, the animals were amazing, but it was their instinct for survival that captivated me the most.

It was at least an hour later that I heard heavy footsteps on the stairs. I turned off the T.V but stayed on the couch, wrapped in the blanket. The door opened quietly, and I heard him step into the room. His aftershave filled my senses, and it took every bit of strength I could conjure not to run to him right then.

"Roza?" he asked softly. The room was only dimly lit by a floor lamp in the far corner of the room, but he obviously saw I was not in bed.

"I'm on the couch," I replied.

His steps were rushed as he neared me. "Are you okay? What happened?" he asked in a rush as he knelt in front of me.

"Nothing happened, I'm okay. I was just thinking. How was your night?"

"Uneventful really. Adrian had too much to drink and started rambling on about something no one could understand. Christian and I saw him home, and now I'm here," he explained with a slight shrug.

"I'm glad you went, it gave me some girly time with Lissa," I said with a small smile.

"Why aren't you in bed?" he asked as he brushed a wet strand of hair behind my ear.

"I was just thinking while I waited up for you," I told him, thankful of the dimmed lighting hiding my blush.

"And what were you thinking about?"

"Us," I replied as I stood from the couch, allowing the blanket to fall.

A low growl radiated from deep within his chest. He stepped closer to me and ran his fingers lightly up my bare arm, leaving a trail of tingling electricity in their wake. My eyes sought his, and I saw everything I needed to, I could see he loved me, I could see he needed me as much as I needed him, and I saw his passion burning bright. I knew we could make us work no matter what the outcome. My doubts and fears disappeared, and I allowed myself to let go.

"You are so beautiful my Roza," he said as he gently lifted me into his arms and walked us to the bed.

He laid me down as if I was precious and fragile, his gentleness only ignited the fire within me more. It was just like the night in the cabin all over again. His tender, gentle touch sent wave after wave of ecstasy through me. His lips met mine, they moved in perfect rhythm, slow to begin with but they became more intense as our passion grew. There wasn't a single inch of my body that his fingers hadn't touched, and I only craved more.

"Are you sure you want this Roza?" he asked gently.

"Yes," I replied with certainty in my voice. "Please tell me you have protection."

"I do."

His lips travelled down my jaw and neck, leaving soft caresses as they went. They traced down the neckline of the chemise as his had moved down my body and back up, under the sheer material. He cupped my left breast with his strong hand, massaging it slightly as his lips found their way down my arm. A moan escaped my lips as my head lolled to the side in contentment.

Before too long our clothes were strewn over the floor, and our naked bodies were tangled around each other. Our kisses were intense as our hands explored each other. With all my strength I rolled him onto his back and straddled his upper legs. I gazed down at him and became completely lost in all that he was and all that he could and would be. My fingers traced every sculpted ripple on his chest, shoulders and arms, and I relished in the way his muscles moved under my touch.

"I love you Dimitri, I love you so much," I whispered.

"And I love you my Roza, I always will."

I laid my body down on his and kissed him deeply as he rolled us over once again. His body hovered over mine, barely caressing my skin with his. Electricity continued to pulse through me, and I was more than ready to become one with him. He looked deep into my eyes, I knew he was looking for any sign of hesitation on my part, but he wasn't going to find any. I had waited too long for this, my fears had kept me away from the one thing that was more than natural in my life.

Once he was content that I wasn't going to stop him, he gently repositioned himself so that I could feel him right where I needed him to be. He took it slow, but I felt no pain, my body was more than relaxed and ready to take all that he offered. And in that moment we became one, joined in love, joined perfectly, and hopefully joined for the rest of our days.

Once we had shared in each other's pinnacle moments, we fell onto the bed, chests heaving and sweat rolling down our brows. He pulled me into his arms and cradled me against his chest. There were no words I could use to describe how I was feeling. I was at peace, pure peace.

That of course didn't mean I'd forgotten everything else that was happening in my life, it was still going to be there in the morning. Being in Dimitri's arms, I felt safe and loved, and as he whispered softly in my ear I drifted off to the world of slumber. Love made me feel more alive than I had in a long time, love brought me to relax more than I thought it could, and love had provided me with a proper family. Love.


	13. Author note

A/N

To those who have been following this story, I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to post any updates. I've been so torn with the way this story has headed, and basically, it just doesn't fit. So this version of What Matters Most will be deleted shortly, and a different one will be posted instead.

There will be a lot of changes, including new characters added, and a whole new story behind why Rose left the academy. You will also see that a few things have stayed the same

I have been working on a solution to fix this story for a long time now, and the best I could come up with is to completely rewrite it. To do it the way it should have been done in the first place

I just wanted to let you know before it was deleted. Stay tuned for the new – and hopefully improved – version.


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